Lady Vampires and Massages

It ended up a busier weekend than I had intended so I didn’t get as far with my Zontar Thing of Venus/ it conquered the world killer essay comparison and review – mostly because every time I thought of something about Zontar there was a nearly overwhelming urge to gab the bourbon and seek oblivion. Or howl with pain – so that will have to wait a bit.

Still more utter trash heading my way – someone made a movie of Vampirella – now when I was a young teenager there was a black and white horror comic book called Vampirella – featuring lushly done covers of a black haired woman who was also impossibly endowed, a vampire who was not wearing very much – the costume was odd as hell – a kind of one piece red thing with a yellow bat on the crotch (no I don’t have the slightest idea what that was about) – add to this big black boots and you have something that twisted my mind into weird knots . (Looking at this now I am amazed at all the fetishes they managed to cram into one character). It was not really a comfortable feeling.

Naturally my local candy store didn’t much truck with kids buying this kind of stuff – the magazine was kept up away from the comics rack and was placed by the ‘adult’ magazines of the era – which was playboy and the sleazy ‘true confession’ and the ‘True Detective’ magazines “I was a gunman’s moll.” “My husband was a secret Sex maniac”. And the like. This was not for kids. (and the grumpy old guy and the even grumpier old lady who ran the place made sure that kids didn’t get it)

Anyway as I was going through nextfilx I saw they had made a movie of this. It’s on its way – actually the only thing I’m really curious about – aside from how bad the film is going to be is how they managed to keep the actress in the damn costume.

“Harry I need more tape - I keep popping out of this”

“okay okay – Bill, bill? Will you stop staring, put the damn tit back in and tape it down? Geeze I got to hire more gay guys.”

Ah yes memories and a twisted mind. Good times.

Speaking of twisted – the phone and customer lists and other stuff relating to the DC Madame – has taken down it’s first hypocrite – one Randall Tobias Aids Czar and tireless advocate of abstinence has resigned because it turned out he was using the Madame’s services for a massage at his condo. There was no sex involved.

Right. And I’m Marie of Romania to quote Dorothy Parker.

I mean Jesus if you want a massage for real there are any number of licensed legitimate massage therapists in the phone book who will come over and (for a lot less than what the Madame charged I should think) okay so they probably won’t be zee hot babes and they won’t put oil on Mr. happy and – well - make it happier, but since you’re Mr. Abstinence that shouldn’t be a concern right? You just want a massage.

God in heaven is there a single republican in any office in the land that isn’t a flaming hypocrite or corrupt thief? (Still sex for hire is pretty non-denomination in DC so I’m expecting more than a few members of the Democratic Party to get caught up in this – with luck they’ll be on the DLC)

And in the most jaw dropping part of this story he goes on to say that he has been recently using a service ‘with central Americans” to provide his more recent ‘massages’ (any reporter with an ounce of initiative – which lets out the white house beat writers I know – but still any reporter with anything resembling reporting skills is busy tracking down the firm that supplies this guy his ‘Central America” massage ladies.

Yeesh. People.

I suspect W will veto the bill – it’s a stupid thing to do – but W doesn’t care about it being a stupid thing – all he’s trying to do now is hang on until the end of this term and let whoever is president next deal with getting us out of the mess.

It’s a bit more fun being a Met fan than a Yankee fan these days – although I would say to the Yankee fans I know 1) if A-rod hadn’t of been so hot, it could be a lot worse and b) it’s April for Pete’s sake. Honestly for a team that has won so many championships and the bloody division every year since 98 or 97 (I forget cause deep in my heart I don’t care) the fans are awfully brittle. I’d hate to see how they would deal with a streak of 20-30 years between World Series appearances.

We’ve spent 300 BILLON dollars in Iraq and all we have to show for it are buildings that are crumbling, broken plumbing and electrical systems that don’t work. Apparently all Halliburton is good at is stealing government money.

I don’t get the point of the NFL draft coverage other than it’s cheap for espn to do.

Bill Moyers is making the various talking heads look like idiots. Which is a good thing. Cause they are idiots. Or actually act like idiots. They are well paid so they aren’t utter idiots who would do it for bits of string or bark.

Peace Love Massages

Naked Vanity

Well this weekend looks to be quiet so I will be able to get that It Conquered the world vs. Zontar thing written – still being forced to say that Roger Corman is a better director than anybody is going to cause me massive internal damage.

Watched – on fast forward most of the time since nothing was happening a dumb ass film called Tanya’s island – which featured former Prince Girl Vanity being naked or not wearing a lot, some kind of tropical island, a grumpy artist and a man in an ape suit – granted better done than most (Rick Baker did the suit) but still a man in an ape suit.

The story – such as it was – again I fast forwarded it a lot – is some sort of fantasy were Vanity is a movie star having problems with grumpy the artist. She loves him (again you can always tell when men write scripts beautiful successful women fall for self absorbed jerks and stay fallen) grumpy the artist doesn’t want to be tied down or something. (For the record I would have cheerfully been tied down by Vanity, more than once even.)

So somehow – not explained they end up on tropical island and Vanity is naked – the grumpy guy is painting (apes are in the picture – foreshadowing it’s a good movie really) and Vanity goes off riding on a horse – not too well by the way – the horse was a bit restless, maybe it was upset it was in this film.

So what happens is Vanity finds the ape – the ape – with blue eyes seems to have a kind of king Kong ish crush on her – she faints upon first meeting him and he lays her down in a safe place and the covers her with red flowers. It’s a bit weird. She then goes back to the ape and talks to it and since it has blue eyes calls it blue. Vanity has quit acting and is now very active in a church organization. I think it was a good career move. She can’t act a lick. She has that weird knack that Bo Derck had of when she talking of sucking the sexiness right out of a scene, so instead of sexy you have a dull scene with a naked woman in it. It’s quite something to see really.

So as vanity and the ape pursue their budding relationship – the grumpy artist guy gets Jealous and then puts the ape in a cage – vanity frees the ape (Free the ape sounds, in this context like a bad pick vaguely obscene up line some one would use “you can free my ape anytime baby” In a kind of fake hipster dive bar of some sort – for the record I have never suggested to a woman that she free my ape.)

Side note – I knew someone who claimed, I mean really, that his best line was “baby I’m hung like a bat”. When I first heard this it made no sense to me I mean bats, unlike horses and the like are not known for being hung. Flying yes. Hung no. I mentioned this to a mutual friend.

“No you idiot” I was told “he meant like a baseball bat”

Ohhhhhhhhh. End side note.

As the movie progresses there is toing and frowing and backing and forthing and vanity is kidnapped and then released and the grumpy Artist guy gets more animalist and I’m assuming the ape gets more human - hard to tell – it’s hard to see the movie from under the crushing weight of its pretension. I assume it was sold as a serious film about sexuality and innocence and the nature of men and women.

“And?”

“And what?”

“And I should make this movie because?”

“We’ll have Vanity naked a lot in it”

“Okay sold – roll with it.”

“And there’s going to be a man in an ape suit that symbolizes…”

“Listen you got Vanity naked, I don’t care if she’s directing traffic okay?”

But it’s dumb and silly and angry in a kind of European (it was made in Canada) way that makes little sense to me. The end is after grumpy artist and the ape fight yet again (after Grumpy Artist rapes Vanity – god do I hate rape scenes) Vanity they says something like a plague on both your houses and is then promptly raped (it’s a hard damn day) by the man in the gorilla suit presaging the whole furry thing by years and years.

Then she wakes up and it ‘was all a dream’ Argggggggggggggggg. Only the 11th million times that cliché has been used. No?

I’ve read that Vanity found god after finding drugs – I’d be take a lot of drugs if I’d have been in that movie. Anything to blot out the pain.

More Random Neural Firings:

I see the FDA, fresh from allowing companies to poison pets and allowing unsafe conditions at a peanut butter producer continue for years without god damn telling anyone like say the public, is now going to finish the job by changing the official definition of chocolate – which current to be chocolate needs cocoa and cocoa butter – cocoa butter is expensive or actually more expensive than regular vegetable oil, so chocolate makers and their industry groups are pushing to drop cocoa butter so they can sell a chocolate ish bar as chocolate – (and bearing the same relationship to chocolate as brie has to Kraft Pasteurized Processed American Cheese food).

I think they may have made a mistake – people are very attached to chocolate in a way that can get very intense. This is going to bite them in a painful spot.

Saw a bit of the debates – one – the former Senator from Alaska is batshit crazy, and if the governor of new Mexico said one more time “As the Governor of New Mexico I often Yada yada yada” Is he like that at home.

“:As the Governor of New Mexico, I would like the sugar passed to me”

“As Governor of New Mexico, I would like three cookies”

“As Governor of New Mexico I would like to set the ape free, get buck naked and do the humpty hump dance.”

I’ll stop now that last image made me want to claw my eyes out with a plastic fork.

Peace, Love, set the ape free

More Random Nureal Firings

Better

Life’s still an absurd farce – I’m just better with that idea.

Turandot was good – maybe a bit too much of ‘cast of thousands’ stage show but hell it’s the Metropolitan Opera you expect things to be over the top yes?

And in fairness I have to point out that this time it was the lead tenor who was Mr Tons o’ fun in the weight department. I know there is an idea that more weight lets you sing louder – and the back of the Opera house is very very far away but it does cut into the suspension of disbelief that you need. Still it’s kind of though, opera singers aren’t supposed to smoke or drink but eating is okay – they travel a lot from place to place, they get bored and one of the things you when bored is you eat. We ever get to the point we’re on tour – we will be plugging into City of heroes as much as possible. Modern tech.

Ms. Rice has said that she is ‘not inclined’ to answer the subpoena issued by the House committee. You know I may not be an expert on the law, but I don’t think your inclination is a valid reason not to answer a subpoena, I mean really kids – you do have to follow the rules here right? This is what you get if you spoil children. A) They don’t grow up and b) they think they can get away with anything. It’s odd really the “now George” tone of voice Nancy takes with W. I don’t think it’s intentional, its just he’s such a nitwit man child that the tone of voice just comes out. I think, reading between the lines, that she actually laughed in the man’s face during that private meeting last week, the moment he said “I never criticized your trip to Syria” he forgot this works with reporters but not with people with working brains.

One of Albert Gonzales little assistants has been subpoenaed and granted immunity from self incrimination and gets to testify – I suspect the young lady after trying to hide behind the 5th amendment will hide behind the extensive and hugely broad claims of executive privilege that the white house is making.

Why does this remind me of the time W went to testify before some senate committee he went with Dick Cheney. I’d say in tow but I understand that the Secret Service’s code name for Dick Cheney is Edgar as in Edgar Bergen (father of Candice and ventriloquist – Charlie McCarthy was his most famous puppet) so well draw your own conclusions.

It’s take you kids to work day here – you don’t see this at a Denny’s “yes honey, the fat sweaty man with a tie who yells all the time is my boss, see what happens you don’t finish school? Fat sweaty bald men get to curse at you.” Or a car wash “No son you’re missing the side view mirror” or a sheet metal plant.

“This boys and girls is an acid bath it takes, no you can’t put your finger in there, it’s acid. It’ll burn you, it’s acid, that’s – oh Jesus – well take you hand out of there! It’s a stamper. Well that would hurt doesn’t it? Harry get the first aide kit? Okay now it’s that not bad you weren’t going to use your pinkie much anyway during your life. Trust me. Okay now let me – now kids it’s not nice to call him stumpy –it’s just a finger.” – And so on.

As part of Malaria awareness day W did some kind of stupid dance with some people. Meantime his wife went on the today show and claimed – with a straight face – that no one is suffering like W is from the war.

Right.

Here’s my proposal; for the next election – each and every one of the candidates has to take a rigorous psychological series of tests. Hell they give them to guys who want to be the night manger at a Denny’s these days. And post them on the net for everybody to see.

I think the results would be interesting. Malignant Narcissism, Paranoia, delusional, psychopathic thinking, the lot.

Rudy Giuliani managed to piss off some New Hampshire votes the other day –but that’s the problem with Rudy. He’s brittle and easily moved to anger and stupid actions – like releasing the sealed juvenile records of a guy shot by cops to prove he had it coming to him.

Rudy’s main promise (as best I can tell) is I will do exactly what George Bush would have done but competently.

No he won’t. Listen while he was brave enough to not hide – like some – in the aftermath of 9-11 he also told his ex-wife he was divorcing her in a televised news conference. And because he blinked as a prosecutor – Michael Milken – instead of rotting away in jail – is a free man and a billionaire.

Oh god enough they are swine the lot of them.

We’ll see how the Iraq bill thing plays out – one sure bet – whatever the pundits say will be wrong.

Best off hand comment I’ve read in a while “Where am I going and what am I doing in this hand basket?”.

Peace, Love, brain functions

Feeling Futile

So the sun is out, it’s a pretty spring day – hell we’ve had a series of pretty spring days. I’m off to the opera tonight _ Turondot – it’ll rain tonight but after 4 days of this you can’t complain, work is okay, the band has a gig in a few weeks, the first workshop for the musical went well, Le Bug of Blue is up to level 23, I don’t have to watch any more Larry Buchanan films, and in general my health is good. So of course I wake up with a crushing sense of futility. A crushing sense that all the uses of the world are ‘weary stale flat and unprofitable’ to quote Hamlet (or a baker who’s shop isn’t doing well, I forget).

Anyway I’m just very very blah today. No more than blah – blah is kind of well blah, not to up not to down just kind of flat. I’d settle for flat. This is a dead weight on my soul and something I’d wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy (still do I have a worst enemy? I mean one at all? There’s the little tit with the beard but that’s just a matter of not finding him that funny – that doesn’t make him an enemy. A pain to deal with when I’m at the open mike but not an enemy).

It’s not even things like this:

Wolfowitz – former Depart of defense architect of the strategy behind the Iraq war and occupation and current president of the World Bank, the man who forgot that he was on camera and fricking licked his comb (this man is what 60?) before combing his hair. (This may explain the damn dandruff that seems to flow from him like a snowstorm). Has been asked to resign by an agency that over sees the bank. This after some 50 bank officials said – its time for him to go.

The white house continues to ‘strongly back’ him.

Wolfowitz left the DOD was appointed president of the World Bank and as such started a highly publicized campaign against political corruption – which always struck as an echo of the Voter Fraud big noise the GOP made for the last several years. (And face it have Wolfowitz go after corruption is just handing them the chickens and walking away – what the hell did anybody expect

People with the sense god gave a rabbit do not give their girlfriends cushy jobs in government when they have high ranking government jobs, Christ that’s you corrupt lobbyist buddy does yes? Not GF. I note in the papers that Wolfowitz is trying to hang on his job.

Meantime the white house, actually Mr. W his self has declared himself pleased with Al’s shoddy performance in a very strange statement he said “The Attorney General went up and gave a very candid assessment, and answered every question he could possibly answer, honestly answer, in a way that increased my confidence in his ability to do the job.”

Now that’s the statement that has Washington scratching their heads. I mean what the fuck does that mean? (And shame eternal shame upon the reporters for not at least asking what the fuck did he mean by that) saying I don’t know and variants about eleven thousand times makes W love you? Or is it just W is grateful for Al for actually throwing himself under the bus relieving W of the need to do it?

Cheney – late of the blood clot is going around the country telling halls full of tame claps that the Democratic party are evil – he then ate a puppy washed down with goats blood.

Tom Delay has been saying something like the Democrats is close to treason. No Tom, Treason is when you actively conspire with you countries enemies – Benedict Arnold or Quisling, for example not the speaker of the house in the pursuit of congress Constitutional duties. Put a sock in it bugman. Go home read the Federalist – you’ll have time while in jail.

Them saying that the Democrats are using the war to score cheap political points is almost amusing in a darkly cynical way. I still remember one Donald Rumsfeld – back in the heady days as Baghdad fell back in the beginning of the war – speculating that a 4th of July ticker tape parade in New York for the troops that fought in Iraq be arranged. And there’s a little landing on an aircraft carrier that I remember. So shame has long since left anyone in the GOP

But again that was the same yesterday.

One thing that does have me down that I know is this. As I was riding the subway this morning I caught a glimpse of a couple on the platform – they had just gotten off the subway and after a brief chat they kissed and when on their separate ways – couples in New York do this about ohh a billion times a day – it’s nothing special.

I got a flash of jealousy (part of being in this mood I’m in is dealing with a generalized ache and desire to have a woman in my life) – Side Note: I was watching part of Beast of Blood (on of the blood island movies) where a girl asks the male lead “how long has it been since you were with a woman?” proving that a man wrote the screen play – I can’t imagine a real woman talking or writing that kind of dialogue. End side note.

Anyway just as the flash of jealousy came over me – not much, just a taste – there was, just as quick a chagrined realization that right now at this point in my life, I am not prepared or even interested in taking the kind of actions you need to take or making the kind of compromises you have to make in a relationship to have one.

There have been more comfortable moments in my life I can tell you. You never like realizing the main casue of your problems is looking at you when you shave in the morning. Sucks to tell the truth.

Cazart! That’s more that enough bad mojo for a day. I have stuff to look up and the Turondot tonight – hopefully the female lead won’t be three times the size of the lead tenor. Undercuts the story somewhat.

That's the tarot 10 of swords - a bad card to get.

Peace, Love, Uncomfortable Insights

Meetings and powerpoints, Zontar & It

Very very fast as I actually trying to put together the worst PowerPoint presentation in the history of power point.

And when the hell did this become the way you do things? I can’t tell you the number of meetings where a) you are handed a copy of the PowerPoint slides, b) the same slides are put up on a screen of some sort and c) someone with a droning voice reads off the words on the power point slide.

Okay – most people can read. Most people can read quicker than other folks can talk. So what is the damn point of reading what is right in front of the people – unless you are trying to teach English I can’t imagine a single reason to do this. But there you see it time and time again.

First on the screen

“Our Goal: Establishing new processes”

Okay pretty much neutral corporate bafflegab but harmless.

Then the person says it

“Our Goal: Establishing new processes.”

Oh dear you think – here we go. But maybe it will be okay, there isn’t a lot to add to this screen anyway.

Next Screen comes up

“Step one: Identify core issues.”

At this point your heart sinks and you feel a deep sense of depression because the next half hour or more are going to pass and you will have lost them while watching someone give a weekly reader lesson. You could have been getting something done, or having coffee or even screwing in the supply closet but no you are here with memories of See Dick. Run Dick Run flooding your mind. And then the person says

“Step one: Identify core issues.”

This is when you wonder if it is possible to tear your own head off.

Well that’s it for now kids –another meeting. Saw Zontar again last night along with It conquered the world and the joint review will come soon. As soon as I recover.

Come-on it’s a beautiful day. I’m trapped in meetings but there’s no reason for you to stay inside.

Peace Love PowerPoint.

Workshops and an old Movie

Not a lot of time for writing today – off to meetings this afternoon and like all day tomorrow – we’re doing some reorganizing of procedures and well there you are. So this (I promise) will be very short.

Had first workshop for the musical Saturday – went well per the enemy below and since this is his area of expertise I will go along with this. Still after it was over I asked him “to paraphrase blazing saddles – do we have a viable project or are we just jerking off?”

“We have a viable project”

So, based on what we heard (and it is a damn funny feeling hearing a song you wrote or co-wrote being sung by someone else) we need to finish up one song – get the first damn song written (it’s the most conventional of the group) and then try and get the book (i.e. the words people say when they are not singing) written. This could be tough – I’m okay with smart ass dialogue and weird fantasies about what goes on behind the doors of the oval office when nobody is looking but writing words that an actor can say without looking like an idiot (unless we need him or her to look like an idiot at that moment), that’s not quite my forte. And forget writing dialogue on a world were people break into song and it doesn’t seem forced as hell. We’re trying to stay away from “So tell me how you feel Sammy” kind of dialogue.

The interesting upshot from the Attorney Generals crash and burn in front of the Senate last week is the sense, well since he wasn’t in charge and can’t say why the firings took place, make the White House knows. It wouldn’t be the first time this group has been too clever for their own good – by having Albert stonewall they have aroused more suspicion than if they had just tossed Al under that bus.

Mets did not do well this weekend – not the end of the world but still not good either.

Didn’t watch a bad movie this weekend – how about that? Did watch the most dangerous game – which proved that repressed folks can make very twisted stuff. The Atmosphere is oddly enough like that of the old Val Newton Cat People there is a palpable sense of decay, diseased sexuality and just plain old insanity. Faye Wray was in this one (she was doing this the same time she was filming King Kong -). Faye plays a lady named Eve who was shipwreck on the island of the Russian count what hunts people with her sot brother (Robert Armstrong who was also in Kong) .

There is an interesting piece of iconography that pops up early in the film – the door knocker of the castle is shaped like a Centaur carrying off a woman – an additional odd detail is the Centaur has been wounded by an arrow. This figure also features in the main room of the castle were it is on an enormous tapestry on the wall near the stairs – the tapestry adds on detail a bowman who has just shot the centaur as he carries away the lady.

It was interesting that the commentary track did not pick up on the arrow sticking out of the Centaurs chest – he recognized that the centaur was a symbol of twisted violent desire but he missed on exactly where the image came from – it’s a classical moment – the Centaur Nessus attempts to carry away Hercules' wife, the arrow, shot by Hercules, was poisoned and the poison eventually causes Herks own death later. Nessus, as he lay dying, lied to Herks wife saying if she ever doubted Hercules’ faithfulness she should take his blood and put it and shirt and have Hercules wear it. Later, because Greek myths are all about people doing really what they shouldn’t – I mean why trust a Centaur who just tried to rape you? – dose just that and the poison causes Herk such pain that he has a funeral pyre built and lit and he goes into it.

I’m quite sure what the idea using this scene is – it could be the director is trying to point out how crazy the Count what hunts folks is while showing a) a symbolic representation of his underling madness and b) that while the count may identify himself with Hercules (he uses a bow during the hunt) he is really the centaur (the Count’s Mortal wound is caused by one of his own arrows) or that the Counts own obsessions (hunting) will destroy him in the end. It’s kind of twisted.

This was also the early 30’s the lean years of the great depression – there was a sense of sickness and decay and loss across the land so all this kind of fits.

Last point before I go – Faye Wray character is a person who knows a lot of what is up and is aware of the danger before either her brother or the male lead is – she’s not a silly little ditz – which helps in this film, when she gets scared you know it’s something real not a shadow.

Peace Love Centaurs

A nice day and a bad movie.

Finished 2889 AD last night – still don’t know what the hell was going on here. There were some 6 people trapped by world war 3 in a house – a really pompous old man and her daughter because of planning and the rest by accident.

Two bothers, a stripper and her ‘manager/pimp’ and the aforementioned redneck. One brother turns into some kind of zombie saying “I need meat” and he doesn’t drink water – well neither did WC Fields but for a different reason.

Anyway discussing the start of the one bother’s health, the old guy says to the other brother “face it Steve, he’s a mutant!” this caused a bit of seltzer to hit my nose – I wasn’t expecting it so sue me.

Some boring sub plots are hatched and then let go – like the director wasn’t interested in actually making a movie rather in simply exposing film. (apparently this film was made for American International to be part of a package of films that they sold the broadcast rights to TV stations so the cheaper this film was the better it was in the eyes of American International – after all they had blown their budget on such things as oh I was a teenage Frankenstein and I was a teenage werewolf – no need to waste money making a good film when they had such quality offerings.

Amway as the days go by and the folks in the home worry about a) radiation and b) that the old fellow had only put up food for three people and for 6 months – so with 7 the rations get short pretty quick – or maybe not – they seem to have enough until later in the film.

And there is the budding romance between Steve and the old guy’s daughter – which buds for a while and then sort of trails off and then buds again like they forgot something was supposed to happen between these folks.

And Steve’s brother the mutant in scene which is supposed to do, well, something, wanders the woods of the valley in search of fresh meat – he finds a rabbit in a humane trap and tries to get it out – not exactly sure who the hell was trapping radioactive rabbits but some other mutant gets to the rabbit.

We think – so much doesn’t make sense in this film.

And since nothing is happening the director put the two female leads into bikinis in a swimming pool (gleefully pronounced as being without radiation by the old man). Like the thing I’m going to do after world war 3 is worry that I’m not getting my laps in. but since this is a movie and nothing is happening well into the bikinis girls we got a movie to make. Side note: In my unfilmed and probably never to be filmed screen play Bikini Zombies (by the way Quenton want to take a look? It plays spot the reference as well as you do) I have women in Bikinis right away. Sure they are zombies but hey they are in women in Bikinis – End Side note.

So as we watch the girls talk – the stripper (and we know she is the bad one because her bikini top has some kind of mesh covering her cleavage and only tramps have mesh covering their cleavage.) tells the daughter that her boyfriend/manager/pimp is smitten with her. This sets up later nonsense. The daughter senses that something is out there and screams.

The boyfriend/manager/pimp keeps trying to do things to disrupt the place and become top dog but he never manages to do anything right. This stands to reason – per the film he and the stripper were heading for LA when the war started. Assuming that the war didn’t just start when one side or the other had a doctor Strangelove moment there were a few warning signs that things were going happen – why else were the old man and the daughter squirreled away in their house in the radiation proof valley waiting for the girl’s fiancé to come – so it doesn’t speak well of the pimp’s logical thinking that figuring this is the best time to go to LA and try and make his stripper into something big. And he should have tried Vegas anyway. Lotsa strippers in Vegas.

Anyway there is a pointless piece (although thinking about it since this movie is utterly pointless saying some part of it is pointless is rather redundant so I’ll stop) of business to fill up time where the redneck and the stripper bond over the rednecks moonshine. There is a drunken dance in the living room where the stripper dances and talks about her act and then as she says “then I start to peel” and well granted she’s been drinking but she has trouble with getting a stocking off. The old man comes in (from where?) smashes the record that is playing and smashes the jug – redneck cries and then goes running off to look for more – he is a alcoholic and well he needs a drink – so he wanders out of the valley and dies from radiation. In chasing after him the old man also gets a lethal dose of fallout.

It’s so hard to write about this movie like it was a movie – randomly exposed film has more damn continuity than this trash. It’s giving me a head ache and a sour feeling about human beings.

In Short order it turns out that Steve’s bother who we have not seen since the business with the rabbit comes back to the valley and dies – because the stronger zombies outside wouldn’t let him eat. Why? I don’t know – listen it’s a glorious day outside the first really nice spring day and I’m here wasting my time doing this – well okay it’s what I do but still on days like this you wonder. What I really should be doing is going outside and taking as much clothing off as would be decent (in my case a hat) and sitting in the sun for the day watching the clouds go by. Not reviewing nonsense made by a hack movie maker (though truth be told I’d like to make hack movies) life’s too short really.

Anyway in the last ten minutes the daughter hears a noise and in classic movie dumb move comes down stairs and right into the arms of the zombie, the pimp drowns the stripper because he is smitten with the daughter. Steve goes looking for the daughter armed with a pistol – in a stupid piece of business the old man – lying on his couch ends up with two guns – one under a pillow. Steve finds the daughter – she’s standing in a stream – the zombie won’t go near the water – which since he isn’t hurt by the pistol Steve is packing is a good thing. It starts to rain – the rain melts the zombie – the zombie turns out to have been the daughters fiancé (gasp); Steve and the daughter walk back to the house arm in arm and the pimp – having gotten one of the guns from the old man lurks in a window to shoot Steve but is shot by the old man with the other pistol. And the film ends right there as if it blacked out from too much stupid. And Larry Buchman is the worst director in the history of film. And I still have no idea why the title is 2889 AD. And I’m still not sitting in the sun.

RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS

In Re the roasting of the Attorney General’s by the Senate yesterday I’ll quote the NY times:

“Mr. Gonzales came across as a dull-witted apparatchik incapable of running one of the most important departments in the executive branch."

If only because they used one of my favorite words “Apparatchik” a Russian term for a blindly loyal hack party member.

Of course he decided to be dull witted cause A) that’s what he is like and b) he had a choice admit lying (with jail time added) or act stupid. He chose the way of the dumb.

There’s a lot of talk about McCain’s little moment where he sang bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran to the tune of a beach boys song (I wrote something like that back in January – as a joke by the by). It’s pretty crazy but no more so than the question that brought forth the answer. The question went something like “Since W is right about the axis of evil why aren’t we bombing Iran?” which got applause and the snatch of song. Yeesh.

In recent days the FBI has raided the offices of a GOP Congressman (Doolittle) and the offices of a business tied to the family of Rick Renzi (R-Ariz.) . Could be interesting.

Word is that the Senate committee has issued subpoenas for Rove and dear Harriet Mires. I guess Al’s testimony didn’t satisfy the Senate.

One of the things about the new York sporting press I can’t stand is they simply deal in extremes – either you are the greatest team of all time or a bunch of bums – there is no middle ground. I just glanced over someone’s shoulder and saw a post columnist had written that A-Rod is the Yankees big Poppi. This after A Rod has won two games on walk off homers the most recent being against Cleveland.

Uh-huh. Listen it’s a nice win for the Yanks and it’s good for A rod that he’s gotten off to such a good start – for one thing it’ll keep the post from demanding he be traded for a month or two but really. Guys this is April. It was against Cleveland. Calm the hell down. Okay? Ortiz made his bones in October – when failure meant the season was over for the Red Sox. And actually long term – it’s not good for a team to have to keep pulling game out so early in the season – it means the pitching stinks.

Diana Rigg pic - not going to waste electrons on that dog of a film.

Peace love sunshine.

Gun Porn and Bugs of Blue

Well I guess it was inevitable after it was discovered that the killer in Virginia had mailed a package of audio and video tapes and what was described as a rambling letter (shit the man had just shot two people to death and was about to shoot as many as he could before killing himself – what the hell did they expect Tomas Paine?) of which copies were sent to Feds.

However the morning papers were all graced with a picture of the shooter either pointing a gun directly at the camera or holding two guns like he was someone in a Hong Kong action film. Great

They are publishing the killer’s Gun porn.

It’s God Damn Gun porn. It’s the only way you can describe it. America loves its guns and part of it is this preening with pistols bullshit. And way to make this fucker a folk hero to the very very disturbed among us guys – Christ who knows someone right now may be sitting in their room, with a mind gone completely wrong, just a hell broth of rage frustration isolation, loathing of the world and the self raised to a fever pitch, with plenty of god damn plain insanity, someone like that sitting there watching all the news outlets wallow in who the shooter was, showing us his videos reading us his letter, printing his pictures on the cover of the magazines and news papers. Who is to say that this won’t become a seed crystal in a mind already supersaturated with madness and provide that last little push needed for action? Maybe not now but who knows maybe part of this bastard’s motive was to emulate the Texas Tower shooter. Get on TV.

Yes the videos should be read and studied but by doctors and law enforcement people with the idea of trying to learn more of the warning signs and what can happen to a sick human mind. Maybe manage to save some lives down the line by knowing more about how to spot and stop the madness that left 33 dead. There is a reason for that.

There is no fucking reason, other than ratings and to sell papers, to plaster the shit all over the airwaves and the Newspapers. Nobody benefits from this except for our need to see freak shows. We keep hauling out the loser who shot John Lennon – why? Who gives a damn about him?

Sorry I have to go scrub my brain for a bit.

Okay about the picture. This is Le Bug of Blu in his new costume – he is the online character that I play the most often in city of heroes the online game that I play in lieu of getting a life. He is a French martial arts master – yes French. He talks like Inspector Clouseau and fights like Batman. It’s a silly combination that allows me to indulge in the silliest kind of stage Frenchman stuff “Zut ‘lors!” and ‘Scare Blu” (which I am informed is no longer a common French expression) and to say things like “So you run from zee French no?” when the bad guys take off. It’s all great silly fun. The Bug thing is my weird tribute to The Blue Beetle but it fits the French thing somehow.

RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS:

Having a very tough time getting through 2889 AD – part of the problem with Buchman (whatever I’m to lazy to even bother to this guys name up) is his utter inability to film action – for example – right after the red neck with the jugs sees the young woman in the upstairs window, he takes a swig of the jug and then hides it. Then he sort of leans against a tree. Shot of Man (girls boyfriend) lounging outside. Girl sees redneck and screams (well who wouldn’t) Boyfriend starts and runs in direction of scream – cut to.

Now a director who knew what the hell he was doing (I’m trying to not keep dropping the f bomb but this clown makes it sooo hard so very very hard to do that – to continue) a director who was invested in making a film that people would be looking at would show the collision between the Redneck and the boyfriend. Right? A Martian would do that – Ed Wood would do that. A box turtle on crack would do that.

Larry doesn’t do that.

What we see is a) boyfriend running and then b) the redneck and the boyfriend hitting the ground – we never see the impact – what the hell was the problem? The camera wasn’t filming? Sweet lord this makes Manos look like it was filmed by David Lynch? You couldn’t re-shoot? I mean even William One-shot Boudine wasn’t this bad.

It makes the baby Jesus cry.

I’ll try more tonight but I’m not sure how long I can go – it’s a hard damn slog.

Meantime Gonzales on the hot seat in the Senate has uttered one of the world class whoppers when talking about meetings and such that led to the firings: “I now understand that I had a conversation with the PRESIDENT. “

What. The. Fuck.

Did you meet in dark underground parking garage where you couldn’t see who the man was who was talking to you? Or do you suffer from Multiple Personality Syndrome and one of you other personalities say Bill was running the show that day.

Who else but a lying weasel talks like this?

Peace, Love, Le Bug of blue.

Cloudy Days and Guilty Pleasures.

Another gloomy rainy day – ugh.

I’ve seen some really really ugly stuff about the events at Virginia Tech - several right wing bloggers have decided that one of the reasons that so many people died is that the students lacked courage. They have written odd disjointed musings over if a secular culture has drained our manhood or stopped having bible classes in public schools or what not.

While giving them the benefit of the doubt – they are as shocked by the horror as everybody else, they have retreated into a state of magical thinking as a way to push the pain away – ‘if I were there I’d have …etc.” that’s okay, it’s the hideous suggestions that the kids in Virginia were cowards because they didn’t rush the guy.

Like you know what the hell you would do in such a circumstance – I suspect, judging by the few times I’ve been confronted by real violence, just standing there mouth open in shock as it went down. Yeah I could flatter myself and think I’d do something brave, but more likely I’d end up a victim.

Meantime today – the head of the senate and house are going to visit the president who has said he will not negotiate with them over the spending bill. I suspect this is going to be a very short meeting.

W: DO! DO! DO! DO! ME! MY WAY! MUST DO!
Nancy P: Mr. President, if you could just stop jumping up and down on the desk for a moment.
Harry Reid: Yes, it’s not helpful
W: DO! DO! DO! MY WAY! NO LOSE! ME NO FAIL!
Nancy (to aide): is he always like this?
Aide: Most days these days, (sigh) I was hoping he could control himself for a few moments but alas that is not to be.
W: I DECIDER! I LEADER!
Adie: You’re an ape jumping up and down on a very expensive desk now sit down or I’ll call you mother in here.
Nancy: Mother? She’s in
Aide (quickly): Shhh. One of the Secret Service agents puts a wig and dress on. Trust me, sometimes it’s the only way.
Harry Reid: I can’t believe this.
W: ME! DECIDER! I DECIDE BOOM BOOM!
Nancy: Sir, the American people want a change in direction in Iraq.
W: BOOM! BOOM! ME MAKE THE BOOM BOOM!
Harry: This isn’t going to get us anywhere.
Aide: I’m afraid so.
Nancy: Thank you for the coffee
Aide: You welcome.
W: BOOM! BOOM! MAKE THE BOOM BOOM!
Aide presses intercom: Lenny, it’s me, Tell Bill to get the wig on, he’s gone again.

Ah evil twisted fantasies. Nice to have them back.

Been listening to Blue Oyster Cult these last couple of days – a guilty pleasure of mine, BOC was on of the few bands claimed Long Island as a home, it’s was like them, the Good Rats (who I wasn’t that fond of) and Billy Joel (and oh yes Twisted Sister). And that’s about it. I suppose the deal with New York so close if you want to do music you end up going to the city.

It’s also just the Island man, the bars that had live music featured cover bands – I remember Crystal Ship which was a Doors cover group had damn a gig every night. There was a old old club called My father’s place but that died long ago and they were more like the Bottom Line in featuring mid level national acts not local stuff.

Anyway BOC started of as the Stalk Forrest Group – they recorded an album under that name that was rejected by the record company I think Electra. Now while it is normally the duty of a fan to say bad bad record company I think in this case they had a point – the band sounds unfocused and it’s really not very good. The band regrouped and decided to ditch the Grateful Dead influences (always a good idea in my book – in general any band that cites the Grateful Dead as an influence plays self indulgent twaddle for hours – and any band that cites Kiss as an influence just sucks). And they changed their name to Blue Oyster Cult – taking their name from a song Lyric by Sandy Pearlman who was kind of a 6th or 7th member supplying lyrics and general mood direction

They struggled for a while until they got their break with Columbia which was looking for an American heavy metal band – Cult isn’t really metal but they are spooky enough.

At their best (aside from Don’t Fear the Reaper which is just pretty much all by itself in their catalogue wisely they never tried to duplicate it) they deal with emotional states that are so complex and twisted that words just break down. When they just try and be a rock and roll band and sing about snoggin’ they can be god awful. And they do songs about UFOs and Godzilla which are big pluses in my book.

As I said they are guilty pleasure – one I listen to when I’m in a down and confused mood – which pretty much describes me right – it’s combination of the shock about Virginia, the mess in Iraq, my job worries, and a few personal disappointments I’ll keep to myself thank you.

Started watching Year 2889 and had to stop for a bit – Larry Buchwhatever couldn’t direct a damn school play. The idea is that world war 3 with the Russians has just gone down and this house deep the country is safe from the fallout. After that people come wandering in all looking like maybe they have just had their car broken down (on guy is supposed to suffering from radiation but it looks more like a bad skin peel) rather than fleeing Armageddon. And just at the point I turned it off the camera flashed to guy in a straw cowboy hat, wearing overalls, beard and carrying a jug (on assumes of moonshine) who comes to the house and takes a swig as he watches one of the new arrivals a girl take off her shirt.

Great I thought – oldest cliché in the universe – drunk redneck gonna rape someone cause hell the first thing that would go through my mind during an atomic war would be the need to get drunk and rape someone.

I turned it off and watched an x-files episode about necrophilia – it felt cleaner.

Peace Love Agents of Fortune

Bogger hates pics for some reason - later

Day after

Hard to be amusing or anything thinking about 32 dead kids in Virginia. Some details are coming out but to be honest I don’t have the heart to read them. Some nonsense was already flowing about how if people had more guns things would have been different. Until we know the details that’s just lizard brain talk – only someone absolutely terrified of daily life would bring a gun into his or her class every damn day on the off chance that a mad gunman would come bursting through the door. It’s no way to live.

Grey gloomy day in the big apple. It’s been gray or raining since Sunday and it’s getting to me. I’m lethargic and my brain feels like it has been replaced by something full of heavy mush or some kind of plaster.

But at least we have a new gig – May 18th at Otto’s Shrunken Head – no provided we have the date right (I’ve checked) at least we will play a full set. Again we hope to have a least one special guest play with us that day – maybe more. We’ll have to see.

Going to be working on the musical for the next couple of weeks. Per the Enemy Below we have the room to do the workshop and now we need some people to show up. Ins’t it always the case.

I suppose you could, if you wanted to, have a band that really didn’t play for people but played music in a basement doing its own thing but that seems to somehow miss the point of doing music. In some weird way the piece of music only exists when it is being played – as Frank Zappa said, the notes on a page are only the recipe ‘and unless you are very weird you don’t eat the recipe” like a play is only a play when people are on stage performing it – and the experience of playing is different from what happens when you are listening to it. I find a world of difference between playing tangled up in blue and listening to it on my I-pod. For on thing I’m not worried about getting the chords right when I’m listening to it. I’ve noticed that when I’m playing out I have to not listen too closely to what Spencer is playing when he goes off during Stacy and No Promotion cause well I’ll just drift (cause he plays so good) and forget when I’m supposed to come back in and sing.

The Gonzales hearings have been pushed back a day – just as well gives him more time to remember what the hell lies he wants to say. I mean they have been coaching him non stop for days now – how hard can this be. I mean I know he’s going to lie his ass off again when he gets up there but how hard can it be to come up with a plausible lie and learn how to say it. This makes me suspect that not only is Gonzales an unprincipled opportunist who’s greatest skill was telling the boss exactly what the wanted to hear – he’s also as dumb as a post.

Speaking of which – W had some kind of harangue/guilt trip attempt in Washington about the funding bill before he dashed to the photo op at Virginia Tech. I’m not sure just what good he and Dick Cheney think they are doing here with this non-stop yelling, I suspect it is being counter productive, voters don’t like being hectored, neither do congressmen and women who by and large got an earful from their voters the major trust being why there weren’t doing more to hold W and Cheney’s nuts to the fire on Iraq.

I remember before this congress began all the talking pundit heads were saying that they weren’t going to be bale to influence W’s war in Iraq because they wouldn’t dare use the power of the purse – well now that they did the talking heads are saying how bad it was that they did this and how they will have to break in the end.

By the way – should W veto the bill and they send another more restrictive bill, it won’t be a constitutional crisis – the folks what wrote the constitution decided it would be a bad idea to give the executive blank checks for overseas adventures and gave congress the power of the purse. It’s working the way it should it’s not a crisis. A crisis would be if W decided, after the end of his term to declare martial law to hold onto power. That would be a crisis.

There is some silly film coming out with Beatles songs as the soundtrack (cover songs actually) Across the Universe. It looks go awful and a very pretentious way and I think will stand beside Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts band movie and All this and World War 2 as the worst use of Beatles tunes as a sound track to a film. I would also like to point out that the Beatles broke up in over 37 years ago and as such doesn’t really make them cutting edge yes? And the male lead is going to be named Jude so they could use the song Hey Jude. Gwakk. Why not Hey Bulldog or You know my name look up the number? And the female lead is named Lucy – Jesus why not Eleanor Rigby? Or Julia or no name at all?

The director while doing the very good Firda also did the complete mess that was Titus -which is what this is looking like.

Peace Love and kittens

Pic is from the daily kitten – a little fuzz is needed I think.

Gig report: We get 169’ed and Post 200 (a special request)

Mad props to everybody that came Friday night – and sorry about the short set. We’re not going to be playing 169 (as much as we like the place) for a bit now. Because I feel bad – folks came in paid a cover and we played 20 minutes.

As I understood the deal we get a ½ an hour and if we get 10 people we get 10%. What happened was the first band – which was due to go on at oh 7:30 showed up at ohhhhh 7:45 and then played for ohhh 30 minutes. The act consisted of a very stiff looking young woman who attention was riveted to the music stand. This being popular music you’re not supposed to read the songs off the damn music stand (I did one but that was because we’d written the song the Saturday before and had not played it out like ever but that’s an exception to the rule).

She was partnered by a nebbish looking guy in glasses and plaid I think. I have nothing really against plaid – I’m wearing a Tartan tie as I write this but it’s not really the look I like when performing. And just to know everything you need to know about him, the bar has this 80 year old upright piano with signs all over it saying “ do not put drinks on the Piano” and “do not lean on the Piano” – and what this clown does is a) put his drink on the piano and then b) lean on it. Illiterate or a Jerk you make the call.

Well they went on and then one of our buds – Eamon went on – and things got confusing. We thought we were going to go on at 8:30 I mean after all that was what we were told in the e-mail and that was what we put on the flier, the e-mails and the myspace space. (my myspace space – say that without spitting or going all snake like on the s’s) and in the begging I did towards the end of the week.

Meantime nobody at our end had shown up – until just before the show which we discovered was now going to be 9:00 because right after Eamon – who labored under pretty adverse conditions like nobody listening to him and a guitar that was far too low to be heard over the chattering of the bar. I’m not quite like some who figures the minute I play they have to stop talking – I’d like it but honestly if you’re making time with someone keep on going, - still you’d like folks to listen at least a bit before they ignore you.

Anyway we were ready to go on after Eamon but they stuck this other guy on in front of us – who ever he was had a nice voice but it was all well all ‘I lost my girl because I’m a self absorbed jerk so I’m singing a sad song so I maybe can get some pity fuck action tonight’ type of songs. They drive me crazy, one because they are boring and two, because they work more often than they should if there was a just god and not some bored narcissistic nitwit with the attention span of gnat and a taste for mean jokes running the universe.

Anyway I was not in a good mood (the delay, a few bad days and work and then the madness of this whole well you go on now came into it – along with a few depression /frustrating personal things that I’ll just keep to myself thank you very much) so I was pretty pissed off by the time we took the stage – and we were off – bang like real fast – I think my inner Johnny Ramone took over and the Enemy Below and Spencer had to scramble to catch up – listen I know I play fast but we really were trying to stuff 40 minutes of nonsense into 30 - so off we went.

Then the moment we stopped after the second song to get our breath at which point plaid boy (remember him -the one who was sitting on the piano) comes and asks if we can do Surrender. I told him no – we have a very tight schedule and we’re doing our songs thank you – now drink your pabst and go back to you seat. I tried to be polite but the guy was just a pain. I thinking of sticking Surrender into the set after this just to piss him off – or just to say fu to him.

We did a few more songs (to great applause by the way – people were listening and not just the folks that came to see us – they were they ones singing along) and then just at oh 9:15 or so we were told we hand one song left.

Huh?

And just then Plaid boy comes up – again. Jesus I like a drink as much as the next but god in heaven know your fucking limits okay? I try to stop before I start doing stupid thinks like walk up to strange women and jabber about chaos theory to them or walk up to a band I’ve never seen and ask them to play a cover tune. (Twice)

This time the dialog went
“Play I want you to want me” (again with the cheap trick references – well when I play I do wear a Rick looking outfit still)
“We have only one song left”
“Well play that instead of it”
“Go sit down you’ve have too much.”

I’m actually not a violent guy but that clown would have been wearing a guitar for a hat if he hadn’t gone away when he did.

Well he sat down and we did the fastest angriest version of Stacy we ever did. After the show the Enemy Below was saying “you were just gone – and the pair of us were tying to keep up I can’t play that fast”

Sorry. It was bad night. The fans liked it but we can do better. And longer. So we will be playing at Otto’s May 18th – with – we hope – some special guests.


Okay Post 200 – I was going to do Plan Nine – still plan to do that but as a favor to the Enemy Below I’ll repost his favoirte post – The Red Shirt Diaries – the Ballad of Ensign Ricky of Start Fleet Security
Star Date 2411.52 – Morning, I’m very nervous today, it’s will be my first day on the Enterprise, the most famous ship in the Federation. This is a big step up. To tell the truth I’m surprised at how easy it was for me to get this post straight out of the academy, my roommate who has transferred to the science wing told me there was a 5 year wait for science officers on the Enterprise, but they took me right away.

Still this is a big day. I’m in the red uniform of a Federation Security Ensign. My mom would be so proud.

Later – my first day wasn’t quite what I expected. I was beamed aboard with fifteen other security guards. The chief of security – a nasty looking guy with an eye patch greeted us with the words “Welcome to hell you luckless bastards” then led us to our quarters. As we walked the corridors people looked at us and started going Baaa baaa like sheep.

“What was that for?” I asked.

“Lambs to the slaughter meat” the Chief said. “Just shut up. Here’s you room.”

My roommate Markus was there to greet me. He was drunk.

“Welcome to hell” he said and held out a bottle.

“I don’t drink.” I said.

“Better start” he said “You can just about stand this place if you’re drunk all the time” and then passed out.

Stardate 2422.33 – Yesterday was the first time the Captain asked for two men from security to go along on a shore party with him since I’ve been on board. I expected that in keeping with Starfleet regulations, the duty officer would pick them. But what happened was that each ensign would pick a stone out of a jar. If it was white you stayed on the ship, black meant you were in the shore party. The two picked, Ensign Gable and Ensign Rank were very upset, Gable couldn’t stop crying and Rank had to be physically forced into the transporter.

“We’ll that’s the last we’ll see of them” Markus said, taking another drink.

It turned out Markus was right – some kind of moth creature ate Gable and Rank was crushed to death by a shower of boulders. The Captain and the rest of the party, Mr. Spock and Doctor McCoy returned safely.

I think this may have been a mistake.

Stardate 2484.10 – Nobody ever mentioned just how badly Vulcans smell when you are up close them. I was just in the elevator with Mr. Spock. It was god awful. I don’t see how the Capitan stands it.

Stardate 2906.04 - .Wrenched my knee during training and went to sick bay. When I got there McCoy was yelling into the com unit “Suck my dick you half breed freak.” He was clearly very angry and kept on: “God-damn half breeds, worse than – what the hell do you want?” It was clear he was drunk, he reeked of bourbon.

Still, he bandaged my knee and took me off active duty for a while gave me some pills for the pain.

“if you don’t mind’ he said, his mood shifting at warp speed , “I think I’ll join you” at which he popped two pills into his mouth, drank more bourbon, took a shot of something out of his medical bag said “Ohhhh yeah baby! Daddy’s gonna rock tonight” and passed out.

Stardate 2456.11 – it has become obvious that the Enterprise, far from being the finest ship in the fleet is a snake pit of drunkenness and depravity. The captain terrifies everyone except for Mr. Spock with his frequent temper tantrums about trivial matters. And I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to drag the unconscious body of Commander Scott out of one of the maintenance hatches. Per Markus what Scott likes to do best is get a quart of scotch, crawl into a hatch and drink himself into oblivion.

In the security unit the morale sinks lower and lower each day as time after time men go with the Captain never to return. So far we have lost twenty three men to alien lasers, spears, firearms etc., two were eaten by some from of alien slime mold and on Reilos 5 three were taken over by Alien Life forms and had to be pushed into the lava pits that dot the planet. Meantime, the Captain, Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy keep returning without a scratch.

Stardate 2571.59 – Markus is gone. He was absorbed by a mutant jelly. His last words to me were “I’m going to take that bastard with me.” The Captain, Mr. Spock and McCoy returned. The Captain’s shirt was torn and needed to be replaced.

Stardate – 2581.66 – Markus had warned me not to get involved with anyone on the ship “No romance for security” was his motto. “Even if you find someone,” he said, “That bastard Kirk will horn in, you can be sure as I’m standing here that will happen. There isn’t a single woman on this vessel that bastard hasn’t banged at least once. Even the ugly ones.” But Betty is such a wonderful person. When I’m with her the pain lifts a bit. I’ve been looking my whole life for someone like this.

Stardate – 2582.67- The Captain has taken a shine to Betty and I got quite upset. “He’s a hound” I said.
“Now now” she said “he likes young women. He's a pig but this is a chance for me to advance, don’t you want that?”
“Yes but”
“Listen it's not like I have a choice really he's the Captain, Still the other girls told me, all you have to do is give him a blow job once in a while. He’s really not much in the sack anyway. And it means I’ll get promoted”
“But but but”
“Now hush.”

Stardate 2583.60 - I decided to have it out with Kirk. Using my security pass I opened the door to his cabin. He was facing away from me tied up on a wooden frame and wearing a French maid’s outfit. Lt. Uhra dressed as a nun was hitting his bare buttocks with some kind of paddle. It was apparent from the marks on Kirk’s skin that this had been going on for while. With each impact, Kirk would scream “Yes! Yes! I am such a bad girl! Yes! Yes! Such a naughty naughty Girl! Spank me! Spank me! I’ve been soooo badddd mommy!”

Stardate 2584.12 – Betty is gone. She beamed down with Kirk and Spock and McCoy and two guards. I actually volunteered the Security Chief laughed at me. “Not a Chance.”
She and the other two were tortured to death by the Klingons. Kirk has a bruise on his forehead.

Stardate 2592.07 - Commander Scott came into the Security lounge drunk and sat next to me. Then he started talking to me, between the alcohol and his accent it was hard to understand exactly he was saying but it clear he was upset about the engines and the captain. He said some odd things about Mr. Spock and the Captain being too close, then put his hand on my thigh.

Stardate 2601. 04 – This is it; Widow Maker is beaming down along with the Alien Stink bomb and the Junky. I’ve picked the black stone. Bound to happen. Matter of time. My name will join the 234 others on the roll of honor in the Security Lounge. What a crock. I’m badly hung over and I need to check my phaser before I go. Lets, see, set to stun, safety off, and [transmission ends]

The sound of something and Godzilla Raids

Things are happening – I don’t quite know what but things are happening. It’s Friday the 13th we have gig that I’m half way convinced will end in disaster and humiliation. I did try reading the power of positive thinking once but after a while thought “Well what the hell good is this junk going to do?”

Finally got both Godzilla Raids Again and Motha Vs. Godzilla in the new DVD versions (hurray for Best Buy!)– and I can now safely report that Godzilla Raids Again is as damn a silly a movie in Japanese as it is in the badly dubbed English. Still it doesn’t have the god awful narration of the English Lang version: “I turned my plane towards the island to see if I could find my friend” Sweet Jesus we can see that! We’re watching the film – it’s a kind of visual thing you know, you’ve set up you’re looking for your friend we’re here with you guy.

Part is that the monsters (Godzilla and Angilas) both don’t quite look right – the Godzilla suit is much thinner (to allow more movement during the fight scenes I presume) and the head looks funny especially what the with the teeth sticking almost straight the hell out horizontally from G’s mouth. He just looks kinda goofy. (I think they were trying to make it look different because this is supposed to be a different Godzilla – the original was killed at the end of the first film). Angilas – the spiny looking guy is is okay but it’s really the movement that makes you blink.

In all the other films they used high speed film for the monsters scenes – filming a high speed and then playing it back at regular speed gave Godzilla the illusion of mass and size. This of course required extra lighting (which turned the suits into even more of a sweat box) and it meant the guys in the suits had to dash about in big heavy suits you couldn’t see out of. Still the effect is worth the trouble.

This time, and the only time in the series, the director sped the film up. I’m not sure why he wanted to do that – make the monster fight more savage I guess, in real life fights between animals are very fast – but it didn’t work well. Think Godzilla doing Benny hill.

And we learn more about tuna fishing in Japan than you ever wanted to know. (The human interest stuff) and there is a painful romance that just makes you wish for death.

One moment I enjoyed early in the film when Dr. Yamane (reprising his role from the original Godzilla) shows up and explains to the city fathers of Osaka that they are just completely and utterly boned amused me in a grim way.

This film wasn’t as successful as Godzilla and at the end of the film – he is buried in ice – he stayed there for 10 years until Toho made King Kong vs. Godzilla (which is the film that made Godzilla a major star again).

Meantime in things that make you shake your head – apparently a man on an overseas flight when into the bathroom had a heart attack and died and nobody noticed until the cleaning staff pried open the door some two hours after the plane landed. And other reason never to be ‘cleaning staff’. A messy toilet pales to comparison to finding a dead body in the bathroom.

Meantime a) it looks like Karl Rove had been regularly deleting his e-mails from his RNC account however they may still be around since there was an automatic save function was put it, apparently unknown to Karl. Still we are told that there are some 5 MILLION missing e-mails.

Meantime the White House is trying to claim executive privilege for all the RNC (republican national committee) communications. Like wow are they insane? Executive privilege has been very very narrowly defined and even the power worshipers on the Supreme Court will find it hard pressed to back that up. Not that they won’t try it’s just they can’t.

Saw the Sad Kermit version of Hurt. A few things – there are some touching moments when Kermit looks at a picture of Jim Henson and Miss Piggy. However the scene were he is forced to perform oral sex on a Muppet dog and where he is throwing up are wrong in ways I can’t even being to list. Also at this very moment, I have to assume the lawyers from Disney (who bought the Muppets a while back) are going to squish this guy’s head like a grape in court. Yes I know about free speech but it costs money to defend it and Disney’s got gobs of cash and lawyers who aren’t doing anything just yet. So enjoy it while you can.

Imus is gone – I don’t know Imus hasn’t been funny in years, It started when he stopped doing the Billy Sol Hargess sketches about a preacher con man (he wrote a book called God’s other son about the character) lately it’s been him being mean to people and his court of juvenile dweebs making bad jokes. I suspect he’s going to end up on X-M or Sirius or well up there now they are one company.

Peace Love, Tuna fishing

I Got Nothin' but Grape Soda

It’s damp it’s raining, I’m whipped, I’m worried about my job, I haven’t had a decent nights sleep this week, and I’m just dragging.

Fun open mike last night “I wanna kill things purple” – got to do one new song which kind of worked but we flubbed the break where we lauch into the chorus of Flying Purple People Eater – but considering we wrote the song Saturday it came out well.

Let me explain the picture – the song lyrics make a reference to grape soda – originally I had written Grape Nehi a new York thing, I remember my dad talking about it – which the Enemy Below gently pointed out that nobody outside of new York and younger than 35 was going to have the vaguest idea of what the hell I was talking about. I agreed because I’m not that stubborn about such things – although I think grape Nehi sounds funny if people don’t know what it is, there’s no point. The picture is just to prove yes Grape Nehi soda existed.

Ran into a friend of ours who had been in Denver for the winter, got to hear her sing again which was good. She has a great singing voice and a new accordion that we’re thinking of putting to use in the band in an appropriately twisted way. See this space for further details.

The wire reports that Kurt Vonnegut has left us. I had not read him a long time but what I did read stuck with me – there was always this sense I got from him that humanity’s endless determination to make themselves and everybody else utterly miserable if not dead caused him almost physical pain. He got his start in the same place my dad did - oddly enough- back in the 50’s GE had it’s own advertising/publicity group in Schenectady, NY (full disclosure I was born there I don’t remember much we moved when I was about 4) it was there that Kurt started writing and got his first novel – Player Piano. One of my dad’s odd prized possessions is a mass market paper back edition of Player Piano with a new title (Utopia -14, could you gag?) and lurid cover. It was one of the things that led him to create his schlock Sci Fi writer Kilgore Trout a repeating character in the books. Something he did a lot.

It’s sad but as he would remind you it happens to all of us. Still it’s a loss.

So it goes.

Speaking of so it goes – it seems that the White House is now reporting that they have managed to lose a lot of the e-mails that the House Judiciary Committee wants to examine. Gee is anyone else as shocked as I am? I mean it’s weird that the files containing the e-mails that the committee wanted to see were the ones deleted. What bad luck.

Still nobody has come up to take the job of war Czar for W. You know the United Sates managed to fight a war that stretched all over the Pacific and large parts of Asia without having to appoint a war czar – but then they had a president who knew what the hell he was doing.

God what a stupid idea.

Imus – who has not been funny or the least be interesting in years and years and years will no longer be seen on MSNBC. I never knew why they did it in the first place watching radio on TV is boring enough to make time go backwards.

The thing that gets me about this is that when he said what he said, not a single person told him to shut up or even pointed out that these are very dedicated and hardworking young women and that what he said was god awful. It was similar to when Rush Limbaugh managed to shoot himself right in the head by suggesting the Philly QB was over rated because the liberal media was pushing a black quarterback. Nobody said a word; especially Chris Berman who really should have pointed out that McNabb had been in the pro-bowl which is chosen by the players at the very least. But that didn’t happen and the rest of Imus’ crew when right along with it.

Now some nitwits have said that since they didn’t know what Imus said was an insult, it couldn’t be one, which only makes sense if you admit you’re a huge screaming bigot with a vast knowledge of racial slurs and what Imus said simply isn’t something you use. Other wise, shut up.

One of the things that I learned when I was doing my head first dive into the history of the blues was how the southern culture twisted African American’s own view of themselves. For example straight hair (which one of the founders of the Delta Blues Charlie Patton had because he was part American Indian) was referred to as good hair. And the lighter the skin tone the more desirable a woman was (High Yellow). The whole thing just depressed me no end.

It broke my heart to read in BB Kings autobiography when he remember one of his teachers urging his students to be hard working and industrious as a way of proving to Mister Charley (white people) that they were not lazy and shiftless. I remember thinking you poor bastard, no matter what you did it wouldn’t matter, they were going to hate you anyway nothing you do is going to change that.

Anyway what Imus said was bigoted and hurtful in a very mean nasty way.

Enough of that – it’s raining and cold and at least it’s not going to be that tomorrow for the gig. But with this bands luck we could run into a freak snowstorm with lightning.

Like I said I’m kinda down.

Peace Love So it goes

It was a dark and open mike

Went to the Bar 4 in Brooklyn and did two of our songs - maybe not best but the ones that people hearing us for the first time stick with them – Some One Else and Stacy. It was, after playing so much at the Waltz that we felt like we lived there, different. The ones that liked us really really liked us and we were able to schmooze a bit and pass our fliers and urge people to come too the next gig. If they will or if they woke up this morning with a fuzzy taste in their mouth from too much beer and a vague memory of having seen a terrific band that they mean to find out more about later when their head doesn’t hurt so much and move on to coffee and with that the thought fades forever. (I’m not much of an optimist by nature as you may have gathered).

Still it was great to get such and enthusiastic response from folks – and I was kind of flattered when one guy asked “did you write this? It sounds like something Tenacious D would have done”.

I’m going to take that as a complement– I may not be that big a Jack Black fan or a that big a fan of Tenacious D but hell they’re wandering the same ball park we are (just for the record I think we are a lot more musically interesting and varied but that’s merely pride in the band coming out) and the guy meant it as a complement so I’m going to take it as such. Still if we keep getting that comparison I think I’d get a little tired of it, like I’m sure the Pretty Things (60’s UK rock and roll band big over there unknown over here) got tired of the “you sound like the stones” comments after a while (especially while it was true at first – they moved on after that. Their song writing was never as good as the stones but they were and remain a good band with their own way about things)

So it was a pleasant time for all – years ago The Enemy Below had done some playing at the open mike and remembered they used to have a pabst blue ribbon special $15 for all you could drink. They don’t have that anymore. It was either to try and up scale the bar or they ditched it after some lunkheads came in drank a few cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon and then decided to trash the place. Alcohol can have a lot bad effects one of them is that hitting people and things seems like a good idea after enough beers.

Going home we got to see the garbage train - big noisy subway thing that is, as you might guess, filled with garbage. We were lucky it was fairly cold out – middle of summer you do not want to be down wind of that puppy - trust me on this.

The funny thing was that right after the Garbage train left one of the token guys came down the stairs with his bags of garbage. Too late!

Well off to Waltz tonight – see what falls out.

Funny mood today – I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time and while most of the time this is okay sometimes I get these little pangs, and this is one of those days. It could also be I need lunch and my blood sugar is low.

Out in the world I see that the department of Justice has dragged its feet (gasp shock horror!) on supplying the documents so the House judiciary committee has issued a Subpoena duces tecum – meaning you and the documents the issuer wants have to show up. Namely the evaluation documents for the Attorney Generals that weren’t fired. ("willing to lick shoes to keep job - loyal Bushie")

This could get interesting.

A depressing bulletin from the class struggle:

Between 1995 and 2005, CEO compensation has increased by 298%. The average worker's pay has gone up by 4.3%.

“Arise ye prisoners of starvation”

The White House is shopping around the post of War Czar to have responsibility for all operations in Iraq and Afghanistan – I guess to have someone to blame when it all falls apart, someone other than the man that he and his defenders continually speak of as ‘the commander in chief”. The paper reports that they have asked 3 retired 4 star generals and they all replied No thank you.

Peace Love Can you say Scapegoat?

Opening day and no sleep till after Brooklyn

Well the new hat is 1-0 and the Phillies gave the game to the Mets on silver platter. I swear if the Phillies could catch the damn ball the Mets would have lost that game 5-1. And that Rollins made the critical error that allowed the tying run to score was of great amusement to the Shea Faithful – especially those of us in the upper deck.

When I got back from the game I was a bit surprised to hear that the big topic for Mike and the Mad Dog was how bad the traffic was. I mean what about the game? I suppose the deal here is that they both picked the Phillies to win the division as did a lot of other sports writers. Fine and dandy I don’t mind listening to people who aren’t rah rah since I’m rah rah enough for 30 people. Trouble is there was Mad Dog saying what Rollins said was no big deal.

Let’s go back a bit here. What Rollins said, to the best of my knowledge, was that the Phillies were the team to beat in the NL East this year. Now the thing is had he been on say the Dodgers or the Reds or the Cards or the Braves, it wouldn’t have gotten much of reaction. Thing is he’s on the Phillies.

The Phillies haven’t been in the playoffs since 1993, they have exactly one World Series Ring (1980) – they have 14 100 plus losing seasons – this is a team that since it was founded in 1883 historically hasn’t been very good.

It takes a while to turn a team around – teams need to learn how to win and that takes time, the Phillies have won about 86-88 games the last few years – the Mets, in the same period went from 71 to 83 to 97 wins – now they may make the playoffs but with the Braves looking more like well the Braves that’s not a shoo-in. So it is a big deal – it’s like someone on the LA Clippers saying this is their year.

Well that’s enough baseball for the rest of the blog okay?

Interesting report coming out of DC that Alberto (torture is a-okay) Gonzales flubbed his rehearsal for being on TV talking head shows so badly that the people rehearsing him just gave the hell up. So not only is he without principle he must be an awful liar as well. Well what did you expect W hired him? It’s not like W wants any A people around him hell C people make him nervous.

Off to play in Brooklyn tonight – the Enemy Below keeps cheering me up by saying how late it is going to be. Well you have to pay dues and you have to flog the group – so off we go.

We will be doing a couple of new songs on Wednesday at the Waltz – which is nice I’ve gotten a little well bored with the same old same old.

Didn’t get a chance to watch any bad movies over the weekend – looks like Year 2889 or whatever the hell horrible film set in post apocalyptic Texas by Larry B is going to have to wait and just as well. Even for a bad movie guy these things are soul destroying. It reminds me of the work of the guy that made The Incredibly Strange Creatures How Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies – there is a sense of desperation about these films that are deeply depressing – there are stars or at least guys who had steady work trying to eak out a living in these junk piles along folks who hope like hell that this is going to be their ticket out of the sticks. None of them do of course but you can see it in their eyes their hoping against hope this could help them some how. It never did, which I think is the major difference between Corman and these schlock misters – Corman looked for cheap actors who were good and looking for a way in – these guys just looked for cheap.

More later – still there was one thing in the news that struck me – W apparently has asked the Democratic leadership to come over to the White House so they can apologize to him and give him the spending bill he wants.

I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Peace Love ground ball to shortstop

Coffee, Egyptian Kings and baseball

Working off site until the Met’s game starts

Actually I’m sitting at a star bucks and none too happy about it. I’m not a big fan of these places – the coffee – except for the breakfast blend with they will not sell in New York stinks and the whole ambiance says “I am a fake”.

And most of what they sell isn’t coffee – it’s a milkshake with some coffee added. Which I assume is why they burn the damn beans all the time – they figure nobody can tell with the milk, chocolate whipped cream and sugar they add to the damn thing. If you do that I suppose that you can stand it enough not to spit the damn stuff out – I’m looking at my Grande (and don’t get me started on the fucking pretension behind that bullshit).

But I’ve ranted about star bucks before and as they say in Monty Python “this is supposed to be a happy occasion”

God this coffee sucks.

Anyway this looks to be a bear of a week – band wise that is – we are going to be doing an open mike in Brooklyn, a last begging for people from the waltz to come and see the show and then Friday is the gig.

And then I am off to Philly to go see the King Tut Exhibit at the Franklin Institute.

While the show is called King Tot and the golden age of the pharos – Tut’s reign was anything but that. Tut was the son of the heretic pharaoh akanaten who had replaced the worship of the many gods of Egypt with the worship of the sun god Aten. It wasn’t really monotheism in the way that we understand it. It was more like this is the only god they were allowed to worship – it’s a bit complicated one) because the Egyptian’s minds worked like spiral staircases when it came to religion and two) the tore down Akanaten’s city and destroyed most of the writings – there is one prayer that remains but what the actually beliefs were is hard to make out. It is similar in nature to scholars writing about the Gnostics before the discovery of dozens of Gnostic gospels in 1945 prior to that they only had a few scattered quotes and the writings of the early church fathers who, had little in a positive light to say about the Gnostics.

There is a tendency these days to over romanticize the Gnostics these days – dissatisfaction with standard churches and the utter banality of the right wing mega churches feeds into that but the Gnostics had more than their share of repressive world views – they regarded the world, the human body its functions and especially sex with if anything greater horror than our dear St. Augustine. (and just how does ditching a woman and her child make someone a saint? I don’t know the circumstances but it just feels wrong as hell).

Anyway the upshot is that Tut ruled for brief time during an unsettle era in Egyptian history which makes what was found all the more amazing. This was an obscure king who died when he was 19 years old. Seeing his funeral treasures the mind boggles imaging what the hell the tomb of say Ramses III (the Great) who ruled Egypt for over 50 years would have looked like.

Coffee is still bad – I’m going to have to go to the waltz to wash the taste out of my mouth.

Wrote two songs over the weekend – which we are going to unleash upon an inspecting world on Wednesday – it’s weird – now days I could feel as utterly stuck as I possibly could be but the enemy below usually manages to not exactly pull something out of me, but actually just give the confidence to jabber whatever the hell that comes to the top of my head. And since that head is filled with all these weird things what comes out can be a bit on the odd side – which is what we want.

I notice that Grind house didn’t overtake the silly skating movie this weekend – I’m not sure when I’m going to see it. It’s funny it’s like I kind of like the idea of Quentin Tarantino but as far as his actual output not so much. Kill Bill was really after a while a game of spot the genre spot the reference – “say that’s scenes from lady snow blood!” and so on.

Still to all the critics that keep waiting for Quentin to make that adult film that doesn’t use genre devices – guys give it up – the man’s 44 years old now – what you see is what you are going to get, trust me on this. If anything he’s going to get more rather than less genre oriented – the man is never going to be Bergman okay? So just judge the film as a film don’t hold him to some “time to grow up” checklist you have in your own head.

Okay – okay

Ended up finishing the x-files first season this weekend – again it’s the fate of the innocents that gets me, people who for no reason they are in the wrong place at the wrong time get crushed like bugs as huge forces that they never suspected existed roll over in their sleep and squash them.

That and spent far too much time at City of Heroes still Le Bug of Blu now has a fancy cape. God I do need a life yes?

Going to the Met’s home opener today – as a silly note because the Mets have three different hats I worry about which hat to bring – I’ll probably wear the newest but it is this kind of silliness that fills a fan’s mind. No real thought is needed to be this.

Anyway need to check the mail again.

That's Christy Mattherson - hall of fame pitcher for the NY Giants back in the dead ball era.

Peace Love Let’s go Mets.