A nice day and a bad movie.
Finished 2889 AD last night – still don’t know what the hell was going on here. There were some 6 people trapped by world war 3 in a house – a really pompous old man and her daughter because of planning and the rest by accident.
Two bothers, a stripper and her ‘manager/pimp’ and the aforementioned redneck. One brother turns into some kind of zombie saying “I need meat” and he doesn’t drink water – well neither did WC Fields but for a different reason.
Anyway discussing the start of the one bother’s health, the old guy says to the other brother “face it Steve, he’s a mutant!” this caused a bit of seltzer to hit my nose – I wasn’t expecting it so sue me.
Some boring sub plots are hatched and then let go – like the director wasn’t interested in actually making a movie rather in simply exposing film. (apparently this film was made for American International to be part of a package of films that they sold the broadcast rights to TV stations so the cheaper this film was the better it was in the eyes of American International – after all they had blown their budget on such things as oh I was a teenage Frankenstein and I was a teenage werewolf – no need to waste money making a good film when they had such quality offerings.
Amway as the days go by and the folks in the home worry about a) radiation and b) that the old fellow had only put up food for three people and for 6 months – so with 7 the rations get short pretty quick – or maybe not – they seem to have enough until later in the film.
And there is the budding romance between Steve and the old guy’s daughter – which buds for a while and then sort of trails off and then buds again like they forgot something was supposed to happen between these folks.
And Steve’s brother the mutant in scene which is supposed to do, well, something, wanders the woods of the valley in search of fresh meat – he finds a rabbit in a humane trap and tries to get it out – not exactly sure who the hell was trapping radioactive rabbits but some other mutant gets to the rabbit.
We think – so much doesn’t make sense in this film.
And since nothing is happening the director put the two female leads into bikinis in a swimming pool (gleefully pronounced as being without radiation by the old man). Like the thing I’m going to do after world war 3 is worry that I’m not getting my laps in. but since this is a movie and nothing is happening well into the bikinis girls we got a movie to make. Side note: In my unfilmed and probably never to be filmed screen play Bikini Zombies (by the way Quenton want to take a look? It plays spot the reference as well as you do) I have women in Bikinis right away. Sure they are zombies but hey they are in women in Bikinis – End Side note.
So as we watch the girls talk – the stripper (and we know she is the bad one because her bikini top has some kind of mesh covering her cleavage and only tramps have mesh covering their cleavage.) tells the daughter that her boyfriend/manager/pimp is smitten with her. This sets up later nonsense. The daughter senses that something is out there and screams.
The boyfriend/manager/pimp keeps trying to do things to disrupt the place and become top dog but he never manages to do anything right. This stands to reason – per the film he and the stripper were heading for LA when the war started. Assuming that the war didn’t just start when one side or the other had a doctor Strangelove moment there were a few warning signs that things were going happen – why else were the old man and the daughter squirreled away in their house in the radiation proof valley waiting for the girl’s fiancé to come – so it doesn’t speak well of the pimp’s logical thinking that figuring this is the best time to go to LA and try and make his stripper into something big. And he should have tried Vegas anyway. Lotsa strippers in Vegas.
Anyway there is a pointless piece (although thinking about it since this movie is utterly pointless saying some part of it is pointless is rather redundant so I’ll stop) of business to fill up time where the redneck and the stripper bond over the rednecks moonshine. There is a drunken dance in the living room where the stripper dances and talks about her act and then as she says “then I start to peel” and well granted she’s been drinking but she has trouble with getting a stocking off. The old man comes in (from where?) smashes the record that is playing and smashes the jug – redneck cries and then goes running off to look for more – he is a alcoholic and well he needs a drink – so he wanders out of the valley and dies from radiation. In chasing after him the old man also gets a lethal dose of fallout.
It’s so hard to write about this movie like it was a movie – randomly exposed film has more damn continuity than this trash. It’s giving me a head ache and a sour feeling about human beings.
In Short order it turns out that Steve’s bother who we have not seen since the business with the rabbit comes back to the valley and dies – because the stronger zombies outside wouldn’t let him eat. Why? I don’t know – listen it’s a glorious day outside the first really nice spring day and I’m here wasting my time doing this – well okay it’s what I do but still on days like this you wonder. What I really should be doing is going outside and taking as much clothing off as would be decent (in my case a hat) and sitting in the sun for the day watching the clouds go by. Not reviewing nonsense made by a hack movie maker (though truth be told I’d like to make hack movies) life’s too short really.
Anyway in the last ten minutes the daughter hears a noise and in classic movie dumb move comes down stairs and right into the arms of the zombie, the pimp drowns the stripper because he is smitten with the daughter. Steve goes looking for the daughter armed with a pistol – in a stupid piece of business the old man – lying on his couch ends up with two guns – one under a pillow. Steve finds the daughter – she’s standing in a stream – the zombie won’t go near the water – which since he isn’t hurt by the pistol Steve is packing is a good thing. It starts to rain – the rain melts the zombie – the zombie turns out to have been the daughters fiancé (gasp); Steve and the daughter walk back to the house arm in arm and the pimp – having gotten one of the guns from the old man lurks in a window to shoot Steve but is shot by the old man with the other pistol. And the film ends right there as if it blacked out from too much stupid. And Larry Buchman is the worst director in the history of film. And I still have no idea why the title is 2889 AD. And I’m still not sitting in the sun.
RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS
In Re the roasting of the Attorney General’s by the Senate yesterday I’ll quote the NY times:
“Mr. Gonzales came across as a dull-witted apparatchik incapable of running one of the most important departments in the executive branch."
If only because they used one of my favorite words “Apparatchik” a Russian term for a blindly loyal hack party member.
Of course he decided to be dull witted cause A) that’s what he is like and b) he had a choice admit lying (with jail time added) or act stupid. He chose the way of the dumb.
There’s a lot of talk about McCain’s little moment where he sang bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran to the tune of a beach boys song (I wrote something like that back in January – as a joke by the by). It’s pretty crazy but no more so than the question that brought forth the answer. The question went something like “Since W is right about the axis of evil why aren’t we bombing Iran?” which got applause and the snatch of song. Yeesh.
In recent days the FBI has raided the offices of a GOP Congressman (Doolittle) and the offices of a business tied to the family of Rick Renzi (R-Ariz.) . Could be interesting.
Word is that the Senate committee has issued subpoenas for Rove and dear Harriet Mires. I guess Al’s testimony didn’t satisfy the Senate.
One of the things about the new York sporting press I can’t stand is they simply deal in extremes – either you are the greatest team of all time or a bunch of bums – there is no middle ground. I just glanced over someone’s shoulder and saw a post columnist had written that A-Rod is the Yankees big Poppi. This after A Rod has won two games on walk off homers the most recent being against Cleveland.
Uh-huh. Listen it’s a nice win for the Yanks and it’s good for A rod that he’s gotten off to such a good start – for one thing it’ll keep the post from demanding he be traded for a month or two but really. Guys this is April. It was against Cleveland. Calm the hell down. Okay? Ortiz made his bones in October – when failure meant the season was over for the Red Sox. And actually long term – it’s not good for a team to have to keep pulling game out so early in the season – it means the pitching stinks.
Two bothers, a stripper and her ‘manager/pimp’ and the aforementioned redneck. One brother turns into some kind of zombie saying “I need meat” and he doesn’t drink water – well neither did WC Fields but for a different reason.
Anyway discussing the start of the one bother’s health, the old guy says to the other brother “face it Steve, he’s a mutant!” this caused a bit of seltzer to hit my nose – I wasn’t expecting it so sue me.
Some boring sub plots are hatched and then let go – like the director wasn’t interested in actually making a movie rather in simply exposing film. (apparently this film was made for American International to be part of a package of films that they sold the broadcast rights to TV stations so the cheaper this film was the better it was in the eyes of American International – after all they had blown their budget on such things as oh I was a teenage Frankenstein and I was a teenage werewolf – no need to waste money making a good film when they had such quality offerings.
Amway as the days go by and the folks in the home worry about a) radiation and b) that the old fellow had only put up food for three people and for 6 months – so with 7 the rations get short pretty quick – or maybe not – they seem to have enough until later in the film.
And there is the budding romance between Steve and the old guy’s daughter – which buds for a while and then sort of trails off and then buds again like they forgot something was supposed to happen between these folks.
And Steve’s brother the mutant in scene which is supposed to do, well, something, wanders the woods of the valley in search of fresh meat – he finds a rabbit in a humane trap and tries to get it out – not exactly sure who the hell was trapping radioactive rabbits but some other mutant gets to the rabbit.
We think – so much doesn’t make sense in this film.
And since nothing is happening the director put the two female leads into bikinis in a swimming pool (gleefully pronounced as being without radiation by the old man). Like the thing I’m going to do after world war 3 is worry that I’m not getting my laps in. but since this is a movie and nothing is happening well into the bikinis girls we got a movie to make. Side note: In my unfilmed and probably never to be filmed screen play Bikini Zombies (by the way Quenton want to take a look? It plays spot the reference as well as you do) I have women in Bikinis right away. Sure they are zombies but hey they are in women in Bikinis – End Side note.
So as we watch the girls talk – the stripper (and we know she is the bad one because her bikini top has some kind of mesh covering her cleavage and only tramps have mesh covering their cleavage.) tells the daughter that her boyfriend/manager/pimp is smitten with her. This sets up later nonsense. The daughter senses that something is out there and screams.
The boyfriend/manager/pimp keeps trying to do things to disrupt the place and become top dog but he never manages to do anything right. This stands to reason – per the film he and the stripper were heading for LA when the war started. Assuming that the war didn’t just start when one side or the other had a doctor Strangelove moment there were a few warning signs that things were going happen – why else were the old man and the daughter squirreled away in their house in the radiation proof valley waiting for the girl’s fiancé to come – so it doesn’t speak well of the pimp’s logical thinking that figuring this is the best time to go to LA and try and make his stripper into something big. And he should have tried Vegas anyway. Lotsa strippers in Vegas.
Anyway there is a pointless piece (although thinking about it since this movie is utterly pointless saying some part of it is pointless is rather redundant so I’ll stop) of business to fill up time where the redneck and the stripper bond over the rednecks moonshine. There is a drunken dance in the living room where the stripper dances and talks about her act and then as she says “then I start to peel” and well granted she’s been drinking but she has trouble with getting a stocking off. The old man comes in (from where?) smashes the record that is playing and smashes the jug – redneck cries and then goes running off to look for more – he is a alcoholic and well he needs a drink – so he wanders out of the valley and dies from radiation. In chasing after him the old man also gets a lethal dose of fallout.
It’s so hard to write about this movie like it was a movie – randomly exposed film has more damn continuity than this trash. It’s giving me a head ache and a sour feeling about human beings.
In Short order it turns out that Steve’s bother who we have not seen since the business with the rabbit comes back to the valley and dies – because the stronger zombies outside wouldn’t let him eat. Why? I don’t know – listen it’s a glorious day outside the first really nice spring day and I’m here wasting my time doing this – well okay it’s what I do but still on days like this you wonder. What I really should be doing is going outside and taking as much clothing off as would be decent (in my case a hat) and sitting in the sun for the day watching the clouds go by. Not reviewing nonsense made by a hack movie maker (though truth be told I’d like to make hack movies) life’s too short really.
Anyway in the last ten minutes the daughter hears a noise and in classic movie dumb move comes down stairs and right into the arms of the zombie, the pimp drowns the stripper because he is smitten with the daughter. Steve goes looking for the daughter armed with a pistol – in a stupid piece of business the old man – lying on his couch ends up with two guns – one under a pillow. Steve finds the daughter – she’s standing in a stream – the zombie won’t go near the water – which since he isn’t hurt by the pistol Steve is packing is a good thing. It starts to rain – the rain melts the zombie – the zombie turns out to have been the daughters fiancé (gasp); Steve and the daughter walk back to the house arm in arm and the pimp – having gotten one of the guns from the old man lurks in a window to shoot Steve but is shot by the old man with the other pistol. And the film ends right there as if it blacked out from too much stupid. And Larry Buchman is the worst director in the history of film. And I still have no idea why the title is 2889 AD. And I’m still not sitting in the sun.
RANDOM NEURAL FIRINGS
In Re the roasting of the Attorney General’s by the Senate yesterday I’ll quote the NY times:
“Mr. Gonzales came across as a dull-witted apparatchik incapable of running one of the most important departments in the executive branch."
If only because they used one of my favorite words “Apparatchik” a Russian term for a blindly loyal hack party member.
Of course he decided to be dull witted cause A) that’s what he is like and b) he had a choice admit lying (with jail time added) or act stupid. He chose the way of the dumb.
There’s a lot of talk about McCain’s little moment where he sang bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran to the tune of a beach boys song (I wrote something like that back in January – as a joke by the by). It’s pretty crazy but no more so than the question that brought forth the answer. The question went something like “Since W is right about the axis of evil why aren’t we bombing Iran?” which got applause and the snatch of song. Yeesh.
In recent days the FBI has raided the offices of a GOP Congressman (Doolittle) and the offices of a business tied to the family of Rick Renzi (R-Ariz.) . Could be interesting.
Word is that the Senate committee has issued subpoenas for Rove and dear Harriet Mires. I guess Al’s testimony didn’t satisfy the Senate.
One of the things about the new York sporting press I can’t stand is they simply deal in extremes – either you are the greatest team of all time or a bunch of bums – there is no middle ground. I just glanced over someone’s shoulder and saw a post columnist had written that A-Rod is the Yankees big Poppi. This after A Rod has won two games on walk off homers the most recent being against Cleveland.
Uh-huh. Listen it’s a nice win for the Yanks and it’s good for A rod that he’s gotten off to such a good start – for one thing it’ll keep the post from demanding he be traded for a month or two but really. Guys this is April. It was against Cleveland. Calm the hell down. Okay? Ortiz made his bones in October – when failure meant the season was over for the Red Sox. And actually long term – it’s not good for a team to have to keep pulling game out so early in the season – it means the pitching stinks.
Diana Rigg pic - not going to waste electrons on that dog of a film.
Peace love sunshine.
Peace love sunshine.
Labels: bad movies -
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