Mets, Judging and what not.

It was a very busy weekend – Saw three good bands, got rained on, saw my sister get her PHD and learned a little something about myself (not a comfortable lesson I must admit) watched the Mets beat the Yankees twice – which I have to say did provide some satisfactions – proving what an interesting game baseball is and how little in the end you really know – I would have been large sums of cash on the Yankees taking the series and even on them sweeping given the uninspired everybody’s on depressants style of baseball they had played against the Nationals just before.

I don’t know if this is a permanent change – they played well against the Diamondbacks and then started mailing games in – so one must wait and see. And remind oneself one doesn’t know everything.

Of course I managed not to get to Iron Man but by the time Sunday rolled around all I wanted to do was do chores and stay home – that it kept starting to rain every time I stuck my head out the door didn’t help much. it happened so often this weekend I was developing a complex – like there were little rain gods hiding in the clouds holding their version of the super soaker waiting for my emergence

“There he is! Get him!”

I know that isn’t true (and frankly if it is the universe is a lot more messed up than I really want to know. I can handle an indifferent universe, or a universe run by a god who’s plan I can not know but a universe where god is an adolescent prick? That would be very very hard to deal with.

Anyway my sister got her PHD from NJIT and it felt very good to be there even though listening to each and every name being read out did prepare me for the after life waiting room. Note next time bring a good book. But it was good to be there.

And this is where I learned something – My sister and I haven’t always had the best of relationships – lot of boring reasons none of which are necessary to go into. Anyway the thing that kept with me and made me uncomfortable was I had a sense on some level she disapproved of me, how I live my choices and what not – that I wasn’t well something – like someone with an advanced degree or some such.

But what I realized as I watcher her get robed – it’s a ceremony dating from the middle ages – graduation robes are actually descendents of what folks wore in those days, universities being very reluctant to make any sort of changes – except tuition that they seem to have no problem raising.

Anyway as I watched, her face beaming, I realized that she hadn’t been doing the judging. I had been doing it. The same part of me that judges everything I do harshly. And of course finding myself wanting as things will me being me. However since I didn’t like the feelings I was just casting them onto someone else.
It was more than a bit humbling to realize it, but to be a full human being you have to at least acknowledge that there are parts of you that are not only not perfect but actually flawed. Like this bit.

It was an uncomfortable lesson but still a) I learned something about myself and b) I was able to fully enjoy My Sister’s accomplishment without any sort of latent jealousy or feelings of inadequacy butting in – and quite a nice lunch as well.

Well that’s enough inner angst for the moment – I have beast with a million eyes to watch and work to do.

I notice now that Obama has pretty much wrapped the nomination up the right wing is trying to come up with a way of saying ‘we don’t want a black man as president’ without sounding like a lunatic racist pig. They are starting out by talking about “American DNA” and blood lines (this is not about race of course but well you know) and other nonsense which is just an attempt to put a rational sheen over their knuckle dragging bigotry. We’ll see more of this as the election gets closer.

As I said things are getting rushed as the holiday week end is coming up.

Peace Love Let’s go Mets!