Secret Fire Department, Torches and Mecha-Godzilla

Many many years ago man I read something called the National Lampoon Magazine – for a while it was brilliantly funny – then became hit or miss and then just slowly declined and vanished – it’s the way of things. Nothing unusual about that.

Anyway one feature of the magazine were riotously funny and fake letters to the editor – one that always stuck in my mind was a letter from Bulgaria (they would often feature letters from countries or objects) which said if memory serves “Bulgaria does not have secret police, we have secret fire department.”

The absurdity of that stuck with me until I noted this story on the web:

“The Homeland Security Department has been secretly testing a pilot scheme in New York in which firefighters are trained to identify suspicious material or behavior. If successful, the programme will be extended to other large cities.” – telegraphco.UK

Yep – since firemen don’t need a warrant to come into your house (I mean it’s on fire that’s why they are at your door) they will be able to take a quick scan about and then I presume alert the appropriate authorities and then folks will be whisked away to Gitmo or some other place where they won’t be tortured just water boarded of they are really bad folks sent to another country where they do torture – (not only do we torture we’ve gone and outsourced it).

I know fireman, I have a relative who is a fireman and this is so not what firemen are about I can’t even begin to tell you. They work to save people – they go into burning buildings to do that.

In the first place they really don’t have time – even in a small fire to go rooting about someone’s belongings or papers or note the posters on the wall or their videos. Maybe the DHS thinks the FDNY will appoint a commissar to ride along with each call to inspect the papers to make sure these are 100% Americans – who knows.

This is fucking East Germany folks. I don’t know what mush wit deep in the bowels of the DHS though of this idea – hell it’s stupid enough to come from the higher ups but they shouldn’t be trusted with counting pencils never mind setting up an system where people whose homes are on fire have to worry about the anti-George Bush poster on the wall before calling the fire department.

That is madness. And that the only paper to report on this is a British paper? More madness. What the hell happened to everybody?

Day a typical Friday – which stinks but I’ve gotten paid – with a raise and I’ll be getting direct access to the internet (not dialup) and it looks like Zulu Dawn is on DVD.

On one of those discordant well that’s not nice to learn about yourself note – I’ve come to the unfortunate realization that I carry torches for unobtainable women because for me it’s easier to live in some kind of beach boys la la land – “oh wouldn’t it be nice if she” than to deal with a real relationship and the ups and downs of that.

Which kind of sucks.

But at least I understand that The Terror of Mecha Godzilla (and there is no terror like the terror of mecha-godzilla) will be available as separate item after the new year which is good cause that means I won’t have to buy that set which contains the god-awful All Monster Attack (English title Godzilla’s revenge) which as kid I thought sucked utter rockets.

I’ve always wondered about “The Terror of Mecha Godzilla” is it our terror of Mecha Godzilla or is it Mecha Godzilla’s Terror? My mind thinks like that – when I’m not carrying torches - actually no, it thinks like that then as well.

Peace, Love, Mecha-Godzilla

Unwell, Rudy, Zulus, Enya, Elfin Women and band stuff

Not feeling well this am – I’d say I was depressed – it surely feels like I am depressed – except for the sight fever, the odd muscle pain and the bad way my stomach responds to food – which taken together suggests I’m just sick and not depressed.

Which cheers me up – not in a way that’s really makes me feel better just a kind of grim satisfaction.

I note with the same grim satisfaction that Rudy’s little trysts with his current wife before she was he current wife have gotten back into the news – not because of their being wrong (and frankly the sex lives of ugly politicians really is not something I care much about and that whole thing was between his current wife, him and his ex – we should just butt out). No not the affair (which again proves the rule it’s okay if a republican does it) no, the current deal is that he may have been going to the Hampton’s for some afternoon delight on the government’s dime – which is a) wrong as heel and b) our business since it’s our money.

Rudy’s explanation – at last nights GOP debate where each person took turns saying how badly Hilary Clinton has been doing as president and how much the love the Jesus and hate teh gay – was that he wasn’t to blame (not the best answer for the buck stops here guy he’s trying to present himself as) and the money was for security.

I remember talking to someone I knew who worked at a newspaper in the late 1990’s when Rudy was mayor in New York and I was informed that Rudy was a) sleeping around and b) he was taking his security detail with him – the security detail consisted of at least one detective and several uniforms – along with a bunch of big cars.

I asked “why the hell does he need so much security? When was the last time somebody shot at a mayor?”

I didn’t get an answer – I think mostly because I was an outsider and not hip to the inner workings of the political world – i.e. not a member of the village.

But anyway – the thing is – I don’t give a damn if Rudy was going to the Hamptons every damn weekend and having sex with the road cast of Cats – what bugs me is city taxpayers were footing the bill.

Anyway somebody took great pains to hid the bills – “the New York City Loft Board, the Office for People With Disabilities, the Procurement Policy Board, and the Assigned Counsel Administrative Office all proved good hiding places for expenses ($34,000, $10,054, $29,757, and $400,000, respectively)” (from TMP Muckraker )

If these bills were just for the cops that followed him around it’s bad enough these were hidden –but knowing Rudy’s rather shaky grasp of ethics (“if I do it it’s okay” seems his guiding principle.) I wouldn’t be shocked if some other things turn up in the bills (say jewelry). We shall see.

Granted this will not derail the enormous support Rudy has been getting from the Media (the NY Post for example isn’t even running the story) but judging by the polls he seems to have peaked even with the daleks, sorry the gop faithful.

Again let’s see what happens.

I also woke up the other day confronted by my poetry collection – it’s over by the left side of bed and usually don’t sleep facing that side – that night was different – and have ended up reading Beowulf – the translation by Seamus Heaney. The introduction talked about how unfamiliar this world and world view was but for anybody who watched Lord of the Rings or read the books a couple of times (okay 4 in my case) this is not that alien world view. At least not to me.

There is a great strain of fatalism in the poem – everybody knows things are probably going to not work out well – indeed after Beowulf’s death the Geats (his people) will be vanish – much like Gandalf knows that in saving the world he is going to change it forever to the point where he can not stay. There is a real emphasis on doing well under the circumstances “such an end as may be worth a song” to quote Tolkien.

There is or was a great strain of fatalism in my family as well – a movie that echoes that feeling was one we all watched many times growing up was Zulu which told the story of the battle of Rorke’s drift in south Africa during the Zulu war of 1879. A company of British soldiers (about 120 men) held off the attack of some 6,000 Zulu warriors – it helped they had guns and the Zulus didn’t but still the odds were awful.

It was Michael Canes first film – first of about 10,000 or so – but anyway there is a moment in the film where a preacher (whose mission is at Roake’s drift) rides away while screaming that the troops are all going to die. The kid (there is always a kid in these kind of films – and you know he’s not going to last the film) gets panicked by this and says to the Color Sergeant “he’s right you know. Why us?”

The Color Sergeant hoists his rifle on his shoulder and says

“Because we’re here lad, and nobody else, just us.”

Which kind of echos a family saying

“ That’s the ticket you got punched, that’s the train you got on”

I think it has its roots in our irish/scotish ethnic background – it’s okay for dealing with bad things when they happen – the trouble is when they aren’t happening you are sitting around waiting for the next shoe to drop – I get nervous when things are going well – it’s silly but there you are.

Meantime – meantime - I also have pulled my copy of Baudelaire’s Flowers of Evil out as well (I get gloomy when I get sick).

Meantime, meantime, meantime I’ve realized I have finally dropped a torch I’d been carrying for a bit – while I’m relived I’m not burning my hand anymore – there is a certain flatness in my feelings today. This is really nothing new for me – indeed I’ve carried torches more often then I’ve actually had someone in my life (awwww) but that doesn’t mean you don’t hurt – not like a broken heart hurt (awwww) but still it’s not something I enjoy (or maybe I do, hell I do it often enough). There is just a sense of futility and a bit of self abuse for fooling ones self again (did you really think it was going to be different this time? really? ).

Like I said I get gloomy when I’m not well. Really all I want to do when I get home is get a bowl of soup from the Japanese take out place near by and watch a gloomy movie or listen to Enya – maybe both we’ll see.

Enya’s a guilty pleasure of mine – there are several of women singers in that elfen pre-Raphaelite style that I like to listen to from time to time – when I’m like this. It maybe that I am craving some kind of nurturing or maybe I just like elfin not quite on this planet women – which I know for sure is true – I’ve fallen for them often enough (see note above about carrying torches).

Well this is quite enough of the gloom blog yes?

We have a gig on Tuesday 12/11 and hope you can make it. We are also going – once we have a meeting – going to be involved in something called the Emergenza – it’s a big battle of the bands where we play along with six other bands and based on crown reaction and a panel of judges move on – and if we are judged the winner in NYC we end up going on to Berlin of all places for the finals – and if we win that we end up with I think something like 3 weeks recording time at some big time studio – of course the way we record 3 weeks is enough time for us to do about 7 albums worth of material.

Frankly the odds of us getting to that level are pretty remote – still if we make it to the second round we would get to play at the Bitter End – which has been a dream of The Enemy Below and mine since we founded the band

“We want to get thrown out of the Bitter End.”

While in this case we probably wouldn’t get tossed out, I know Stacy would seriously warp their tiny minds – it’d be worth doing this just for that, the stunned look on the faces of the resident folkies there as our songs unfold would be worth the hassle.

As such worth a song yes?

Peace Love Stacy

meetings and Mitt and not much else

Well not quite but we have the year end wrap up and going forward stuff being talked about here today.

Meantime in a kind of No Irish need apply moment – Mitt Romney the utterly calculating talking head candidate from Utah running on a record of being a governor of a state that hated me is reported to have said that he would not consider a Moslem for a cabinet post because there aren’t enough Muslims in the U.S.

Or something like that – Mitt has now denied he ever said anything like that but several people are saying yes he did say this - and more than once.

It’s breathtakingly moronic to go off like this – which is why I think he did say this – he’s a creature of calculation and his mind would reason like that “how many votes does this get me? Not enough – get a Hispanic for the job”. I remember back in the early days of the former attorney general Albert Gonzales disastrous tenure the White House tried to make out that any criticism of Al was motivated by prejudice – although what part of “incompetent asskissing toady” is a slur on Hispanics is hard to see.

It’s the kind of gibberish thinking that made Mike and the Mad Dog try to stir up trouble in 2006 about maybe the Mets had too many Hispanic ball players before the season opened. Frankly if the Mets can win the World Series I don’t care if the entire team consists of gay pink Martians.

I also seem to remember that there is a provision that no religious test is necessary for holding office in the United States government – again showing just how off the damn rails this country has become.

Sorry for the short bog but it’s been one of those days.

We look to be maybe involved in some sort of band battle contest – let you know how that works.

More tomorrow.

Peace Love Meetings

Argg - Gorillas with sticks, Photo ops, and what not...

11/26/07

Argggg.

There is something about being woken up by the alarm on a rainy Monday after four days in which your major decision after breakfast was what to have for lunch that is utterly soul destroying.

Not much time – for blogging just yet – however I see that Ms. Rice is going to be moderating a Mideast conference that includes Syria – which is a bit of improvement seeing that in recent times all we’ve talked about is bombing Syria and accusing them of hiding Saddam’s WMD’s (they must be some where so some folks accused Syria of stashing them) and of being Hamas’s money man (which they are to some extent).

Still alas with the utterly clueless and useless Ms. Rice in charge – we’re will be lucky that the entire region is not at war by the end of the day.

I notice that folks are dissing the Pats for not slaughtering the Eagles – well while not a huge fan of the Pats (other than a sneaking admiration of Belecheck for pissing off the NY Sports media so bad and for telling the Jets no way in hell am I going to be head coach of this doomed enterprise – you should have seen the columns about that) I have to say when the hell did the NFL start issuing style points?

11/27

Sorry meant to post something yesterday but the day totally spun out of control – we are coming to the end of the year and that means not lights families and presents but the end of the year crunch as the sales staff here either tries to meet quotas or earn whatever reward they have this year for a sales level of 100 Plus X percent of quota.

Sales is not something I could ever do as an everyday thing – well selling the band yes but not the day to day task of selling what we make – some software thing – exactly is not important – used by some businesses. I don’t have the thick skin, the stubbornness and the weird reading people skills that you need. People who do well at this are just different personality types.

Still at this time of year they are in one of two modes – one – soaked in fear sweat desperate to get something on the board or soaked in greed sweat desperate to get something on the board – either way it is hard to deal with.

Also a friend is in the hospital – which isn’t good, it’s going to be okay but it’s still someone in a hospital which are not the greatest places in the world. Even if you are sick.

Meantime – not only are monkeys killing us – this story is floating around the web –

“Wild gorillas have been seen using "weapons" for the first time, giving a new insight into how early man learned to use sticks and stones for fighting and hunting millions of years ago. Researchers observed gorillas in the Cross River area of Cameroon throwing sticks, clumps of earth and stones at human "invaders". It is the first time that the largest of the great apes has been seen to use tools in an aggressive way.” - UK Telegraph –
Isn’t this how the Planet of the Apes started? Unless the Robots are controlling them.
Meantime Meantime – Yesterday W had Al Gore over to the White House as part of a Photo op for Noble Prize winners – which has to burn W. they had a private conference for about a ½ hour. Al said is was corgil but I have my doubts – monkey face would find it hard to be civil.
W: Loser! Loser! Loser! Look at my carpet! Mine! I President! you loser! Loser!
Aide: Please stop dancing on the desk sir you’re going to scratch it.
Al: That’s a pretty ugly carpet.
W: I chose carpet! I President. I make boom- boom.
AL: I see he’s gotten worse .
Aide: You’d better go sir – he’s going to flash his butt in a moment and I’d rather you not see that.
AL: Let me guess, Boxer shorts with the presidential seal on them
Aide: Of course.
AL: thank you, I’m going now Mr. President.
W: I make the boom boom!
And so on. Horrible fantasies come so very easy to my head – it’s the nature of things I guess.
I see where Citibank has borrowed money from essentially the government of Dubai like a lot of money like billions as in seven of them. Even for Citi that is a lot of money – with an interest rate of 11% (coming to 7.5% I read after taxes – how that works is beyond me I have to say) I mean a lot of money. Lots and lots of money.
I have to wonder about the 11% as well – is this a introductory rate and what happens if citi is late paying – do they jack the rate up like they do with people? Still when you owe someone billions they sweat when you are late making payments more than you do. This actually is Donald Trumps secret of success – borrow more money than the banks can afford to lose and when you get in trouble they will restructure the loans and bail you out and you can pretend you actually know what you are doing. I’m not sure Trump has consciously pursued this strategy – Don doesn’t seem all that bright, which I think is his advantage when he does high wire deals – he’s too dim to realize the risks.
Anyway I see that Rudy G, running on the Dalek Platform {Exterminate! Exterminate!) is starting to run down a bit. It’s not soo surprising – he’s always been his own worst enemy between his need to bully and then claim credit for any good thing even vaguely connected to New York with the possible exception of the coming of spring. To date he has not said: “I will make it bloom in February!” But that has to be coming. Nobody has more faith trust and belief in the essentially godlike qualities of Rudy Giuliani than Rudy does and he says it often and loud. Recipe for disaster really.
Mean time Mr. Thompson who has been running one of the dullest and most inept campaigns I have ever seen is bitiching that Fox has been giving Rudy glowing coverage but not him. Gee I’m shocked that Fox is playing favorites. That never happened before.
I have to say the dances going on inside the village are reminding me more and more of the Fench court shortly before 1789 – The system is tossing gears, people are angry and upset, they all think the king is an idiot but they all keep up the show. Until swarms of angry people whit pikes swarm over the fences. It feels like they know it’s coming but they can’t think of anything to do about it. At least nothing that wouldn’t force them to make some changes themselves.
Well got to go
Peace Love Damn Dirty Apes

Some Thank yous

Not going to be a lot of blogging the next few days – I’m off to my brother in Washington for the holiday and will not really have easy access to the net – or the time.

However I would like to give some thanks – Especially to The Enemy Below and Insect Girl – your friendship is a wonderful gift and I cherish it deeply.

I want to thank everybody else in the band (S-Dog, Miss Trafalgar, and the Dude) and the folks who have played with us. When you go it alone for years – It’s a beautiful thing to find yourself surrounded by like minded twisted lunatics.

For everybody who has come to hear us - Thanks.

For family and great friends. Thanks.

For City of heroes just because I’m a comic book geek

For a heart that hasn’t turned bitter or cold, an intact sense of wonder, and a feeling that I’m only getting started now – thanks.

For Godzilla and Mystery Science Theater 3000, Robot Monster, and Ed Wood and all the wonderfully awful films I’ve seen and have yet to see. (Come on classic put out Terror of Mecha-Godzilla as a separate item guys! Really!)

And for Manos the Hands of Fate – who’s review I will finish one of those days.

For Music which has allowed me to at least make some partial sense of things.

For Diana Rigg.

Just thanks.

Peace Love Happy Thanksgiving

Distance, Fall. Birds, Pundits and other Bastards, More Birds and Shonen Knife

Feeling like a bit of a freak this am – not for any reason I care to share at the moment – it’s just one of those moments when I feel like I’m here and the rest of the world is somewhere over there (points to somewhere in the distance).

Late fall is in full swing – most of the birds have left by now – last evening as I was walking to rehearsal, I walked by the railroad bridge and I heard from the bridge the chatter of starlings hundreds of them. They were holing up for the night – bunched together to stay warm in the shelter of the bridge before heading on south the next day.

Starlings – which are not a native bird are an unfortunate result of a rich American’s Shakespeare Obsession – he wanted to have examples of all the birds in Shakespeare’s plays in his aviary – this unfortunately included starlings. Bill was fond of using omens from nature to indicate that bad things were afoot, comets, hail and the sheeted dead rising up to squeak and gibber in the streets of Rome before Caesar got his ass capped and I remember that there were starlings croaking in the eves of Duncan’s Castle after Macbeth had stabbed him.

So this millionaire gets these starlings and these starlings escape and because they have no natural predators here and they are aggressive and nasty (this is of course using human values to judge – starlings just are, it isn’t a matter of good or bad really, we add that bit) have forced out other birds and bred like rabbits to the point were there are thousands hanging out on a bridge in Queens.

Things are quiet for the most part – expecting madness to break out any minute now but that’s more my personality that actual circumstances warrant. I’m told I’m pretty tightly wound – which I won’t really dispute – but what kind of knocks be back a bit about that is for my family, I’m pretty damn easy going. This may explain things.

Meantime the political silly season has gotten into full swing – apparently Maureen Dowd has just penned a peach of a column where she used dominatrix imagery to describe Hillary Clinton. “flick of the whip” and the like. We also have been treated to commentary about how she laughs, holds her hands, and is a 60 year old woman flashing a bit too much bosom for mainstream America.

To be honest, I have some problems with Hillary, but not because of how she folds her hands laughs or even because has a bosom. It’s her way too cozy relationships with K street Players – even Rupert Murdoch and the like that I find off putting – along with her overseas hawkish ness re Iran and formerly Iraq. Not that she laughs funny or too loud or something.

That said, if she is the democratic nominee I’ll vote for her. If only for the chance to listen to right wing pundit’s heads explode as she takes her oath of office and especially to watch Tucker Carlson (who’s pretty much said out loud he’s afraid of her) piss himself in terror as he imagines the FBI breaking into his a apartment the day after Hillary becomes president and taking him to a place where they do interesting things involving electric wires and testicles and water boarding which he, if one remembers correctly does not regard as torture.

It’s been pathetic watching the cream of Washington’s press corps act like adolescent schoolboys making weird giggling noises about lady parts and the like. It’s embarrassing on a deep level. Lord knows what the rest of the world thinks about this. Jesus grow the hell up – England and India have had women in charge and neither country has run off the rails – this Hillary terror puzzles the hell out of me.

Band notes – we have a gig at ottos’ 12/11 – please come along – it’s gonna be a good show and we’re trying to stick some of the older stuff in as well – Johnny’s going Postal for example sounds amazing with a full band treatment – even given it’s a very creepy song. It’s one of the few songs we have that we’d pull from the set if there is an instance of someone indeed going postal. I had a song about being in a plane that was going to crash – that one was dropped 9/12/01 – it’s not coming back either.

I was going to comment on Rudy and his problems with Mr. Klerk and now Mr. Klerk’s ex-mistress Judith Regan who has a lawsuit pending and probably knows a lot more than either Rudy or Bernie are comfortable with – but it really would be a waste of electrons on a day I’m trying to be at least a little productive.

Meantime the Market – on bad news from Citibank is tumbling again – it’s a been a bad few weeks for the market – mostly from the sound of 12 ton chickens – the utter collapse of the sub-prime market – coming to roost. I saw that one brokerage had put the sell sign up for Citibank – which while not surprising is a bit late – the thing to do would have been to give the sell signal for Citibank a while ago before everybody was heading out the door. It was like the room filled with smoke – flames where shooting out from under the doors and then (and only then) Goldman noticed Citi was on fire.

We’ll see where is goes from here – no place good I think.

The picture is that of the Kakapo – a nearly extinct flightless parrot from New Zealand – Douglas Adams wrote about them in Last Chance to See and they have had a special place in my heart ever since – as Douglas noted not only have they forgotten how to fly but they have forgotten they have forgotten how to fly – a disturbed Kakapo will climb up a bush or tree a ways and then jump off – with the usual not good result. Really something this goofy must be preserved at all costs.

I remember one time I was telling an older person about this bird and the efforts to keep it from going extinct and her cold blooded response was ‘well if they can’t take the competition they should just die out” to which I said “if we can’t protect the helpless, the innocent and the silly what the hell good are we?”

Speaking of bastards the Japanese have launched a fleet to hunt Humpback whales for the first time in about 40 years – they are vowing not to be swayed by environmental terrorists. Forgive me but I don’t think Greenpeace is about the break into their mess hall and shoot them with harpoons that explode after they are embedded in the flesh - at least not yet. Greenpeace can be pretty extreme but they aren’t that extreme (just yet)

Off to see Shonen Knife tonight – first show of any short I’ve seen in a while – looking forward to it. I am a large fan of their Ramones meets Jose and the Pussycats sound and have been ever since I heard Riding on a rocket – yeah their accents sometimes get in the way of understanding what they are saying but it’s not important. With their enthusiasm and oddball song topics – soap powders, Singapore, Bison, and Twist Barbie they just make me just giddy with joy - you can’t listen to them all the time – too much cotton candy will rot you teeth down to the gum line, but every now and then, when the weasels have closed into the point were – as HST put it you can “smell the ugly brutes” it’s time to put your stereo up to 11 and let her rip.

Peace, Love, Save the Whales!

Trivial, Useless, Arrogant and Stupid

By all accounts and by short watching replays myself – the CNN debate was either okay or just god-awful. The major difference being the types of questions the general public asked and what the talking heads asked. Audience questions dealt with their lives – the Talking Head questions were attempted verbal traps or gibberish like “drivers license’s to illegal aliens yes or no?” which isn’t even something a president can or should be doing anything about – the states handle drivers licenses.

It’s worse than awful – it’s just insane - this is the best they can come up with? Are they so out of touch with everyday life?

Probably. Most people in the village are.

Somebody explain to me how Tim Russert has a tv show? Really.

I notice that all the Dalek – sorry GOP party candidates for president are running on the “Hillary is a bad president and to blame for everything that has gone wrong” platform – which is a bit weird since I thought someone named George was president and he was a republican. But I understand little of what goes on in the village.

The disconnect between what the Village thinks and the rest of country is simply breathtaking. The country as a whole thinks W if a fool and incompetent twit, the Village still think he’s a good guy to have a beer with. By and large America likes the idea of Universal Heath Care, Gun Control, getting the hell out of Iraq, and Social Security – the village hates all of these things.

The village hates us and fears us, they view us as the great unwashed – who’s views are to be cited and/ or manipulated if they match those of the Village ignored if not.

Well Beowulf opened to day – we’ll see – it looks interesting but ya never know with this kind of film and they’ve already done several versions of Beowulf – all of which stunk so I’m not too hopeful about this one.

Sorry for the short post busy today.

Bonds has been indicted – one of the charges, if I read what they are writing correctly is that he lied to a grand jury about taking steroids – the upshot being the feds have a test he did that was positive for steroids while he kept saying no. I mean this should not come as a surprise yes?

A-Rod has apparently decided he wants now to stay on the Yankees – for less that $350 million but for a lot of cash nonetheless. None of the Yankee fans I know seem that delighted with the news. The most positive I got was ‘they would have missed his bat next year”. I think he’s going to have visit every house and apartment building in New York and ask if there are any Yankee fans at home and then apologize personally to each of them for being such a dick. It won’t solve everything but it’ll be a start.

Diana Rigg, it's been a while.

Peace, Love, Shonen Knife

Rain, God, The Homeless and The Terror of Mechagodzilla

To File under: You Cannot Petition The Lord With Prayer! – Doors 1973

Proof that if there is a god, she’s not exactly what everybody says she is: (from BaloonJuice.com).

“1. Georgia is in severe drought

2. Governor Perdue decides to pray for rain on Tuesday

3. Forecast called for rain Tuesday

4. Prayer service goes ahead as planned

5. Skies completely clear up immediately following prayer service

6. No rain”

You have to wonder what comes next – perhaps the sacrifice of an unblemished goat as they did back in the day. Or schedule a huge outdoor barbeque and music fest – that usually makes it rain buckets.

You also think maybe Governor Perdue (any relation to the chicken guy you wonder) has better things to do with his time than offering up a state sponsored prayer fest – you know like maybe working out an emergency water rationing plan (Atlanta has last time I read about 90 days supply of water left) and looking for a long term fix to the problem (maybe just a few less developments in the area? Or less lawns – which suck water like a dry sponge). But no he’s out there with the ‘protect me oh lord from the fact we’ve been really really dumb’ prayer (now to be fair I’ve said that a few times myself, but I’m not a Governor) or some such.

This kind of thing always reminds me of the story of a man who had a house by the river, which as flooding – a car came up and the neighbor offered him a lift out danger.
“No thanks” he said “God will provide”
Later as the water rose – someone came by with a boat made the same offer.
“No thanks” he said again “God will provide”
Later as the water rose still further – as he was sitting on his roof a helicopter came by and again the man refused saying that god would provide.
He drowned later and when he was ushered into the presence of the god asked him why he hadn’t been rescued.
“I sent you a car, a boat and a helicopter. What else did you want?”

Me and god, well on some days I’m spiritual but not religious as one of the dating websites has it (which have never worked for me but that’s a rant for another time) and on some days I’m more inclined towards Charles Fort, author of the Book of the Damned and the first modern chronologer of para-normal phenomena, bon mot “if there is a universal mind, need it be sane” and sometimes I agree with Hunter Thompson that we move at the whim of the Great Magnet and other times – not so much.

It’s coming on winter and with the cold weather the homeless are starting to move to the subways – we kind of treat the homeless like they are some sort of weird pigeon in New York, we toss bit of food or money at them or if we are in a bad mood we shoo they away and at a last resort we sic the cops on them. And in general we ignore their humanity – maybe because it would hurt too much to see it. On the subway yesterday was a couple homeless obviously sitting, more sleeping in the car I walked onto – they were sitting together and the man had his arm around the woman. I was stuck, here was someone with nothing, at least compared to me, and even in such dire straits he was trying to help comfort someone else. Made me feel like a right selfish bastard worrying as I do about this and that in my life. It makes me wonder about myself, like maybe there is nobody in my life because I won’t give anyone room in it?

More depressing thoughts for some other time.

Meantime my inner geek is utterly pissed at Classic Media – over the last two years they have been issuing (on a pretty random schedule by the by) several of the Classic Toho Godzilla films – in both the original Japanese language edition and the dubbed American Release – and the instant they’ve issued them, I’ve bought them . I’ve been waiting for this a long time – many of the films are just so much better in the original Japanese version it’s not funny – well maybe not better perhaps less utterly stupid would be a better way to put it . There is one film in particular I’ve been waiting for (other than the original Japanese Godzilla) and that is the last film in the original Godzilla series “Terror of MechaGodzilla” one because it is the last series and two because the American version has been butchered to the point that the plot (and yes there is one) is impossible to follow unless you’re read a synopsis of the Japanese version.

Now I head the Classic Media in its utter fucking wisdom has decided to issue Terror Of MechaGodzilla only as par of the boxed set containing all the other films they have released. I don’t get this at all – who the hell is supposed to buy this? Their baseline customers have already bought the other films and most of us aren’t about to shell out fifty bucks to get 5 films we already have just to get the new one. And if it’s aimed at people buying something for Christmas – guys we’re the people someone would buy that box set for – we already have them.

And don’t get me started on Mothra and War of the Gargantuas. For god’s sake Mothra has NEVER been on DVD, ever. What the hell is with these people?

Peace, Love, Mechagodzilla

The Devil Plays Hockey and other Unnatural acts

Weather seems to have gotten me down – maybe it’s the damn damp getting into my bones or something – maybe it’s just allergies maybe it’s just November getting to me. (Not one of my favorite times of year this late fall, to bare and too bleak without the promise of spring coming.

But life goes and a quick glance at the sports pages had this shoot out at me.

“For the third straight game, Satan scored the winning goal, and the New York Islanders denied Devils goalie Martin Brodeur his 500th NHL victory with a 2-1 win over New Jersey on Saturday night.

"It's the way it's going," Satan said. "It's pointless to analyze it. I'm just glad to help the team." “ – AP 11/11/07

Turns out the Islanders have a player from Russian with the unfortunate surname of Satan – his full name is Miroslav Satan to be exact. I think I need to keep track of the Islanders for this year – if for no other reason that on the chance once in a lifetime berserk headlines like “Red Hot Satan Scores Hat Trick” will cross the transom.

Makes life worth living one must say.

The other thing of course – this man should be playing on the Devils yes?

No real feedback on the new songs – come one people where’s the damn love? And fame seems somewhat reluctant to knock at our door just yet – still it’s only been a little while since we started this push so I need to be look long term.

Which may be a problem for me – I’m more impulsive that I care to admit so long term planning isn’t one of my strong points. But since I’m not alone in this – that’s not really going to be a problem for the band as a whole – we all have things we bring to the table.

Watching The She Creature at Home – started it last night and nodded off so I’m going to have to go back and start again.

Its one of those films made in the 50’s about creepy hypnotists – and in the 50’s since the Hayes code was still in force – (if you ever wondered why married couples in the movies had separate beds thank the dirty minds of the Hayes Code folks – that and switching away from the action just at the romantic leads were just about to get on with it) instead of using their unholy mind powers to seduce hot women (and really what sane man would work to get unholy mind powers if it wasn’t going to use it to seduce hot women – not that I’m endorsing the acquiring of unholy mind powers for any reason – even seducing women) but these guys aren’t too normal and well this one is somehow projecting his subject back in time through various re-incarnations. Including the title She-Creature which doesn’t really show up that much. It is rather confusing in that – we’re missing pages of script here manner of cheap 50’s shockers – which combined with being a bit beat lead to nodding off before the end. Which I assume means the bad guy gets his in a bad way probably at the hands of the She Creature.

Just noted via pandagon – and what’s in the water in Sioux Falls -

“ A Sioux Falls man caught in the Washington Pavilion having simulated sex with a mannequin didn't commit a crime of indecent exposure, the state Supreme Court says.”

Apparently the deal is that Mr. Happy wasn’t visible so no indecent exposure.

Still the phrase get a room comes to mind.

Other thoughts when the brain is more up to par.

Peace, Love, no, no luggage, just the mannequin

Waterboarding and Electric Guitars

I’m somewhat non-plussed that I can live in country where an elected official can say a man is ‘dead wrong on torture’ and yet vote to confirm him in the position he was nominated to

The fact that there is some kind of debate on torture is alas symptomatic of just how debased and corrupt we have become. Hell we’re so bad off we don’t even know we’re bad off.

There is this weird mental gymnastics being played here – The mind set seems to be as follows – America is good – there for everything America does is good. Torture is bad – there for America does not torture. So if America does water boarding – it’s not torture because it’s not good and America is good. Besides our foes are evil.

Makes not a whit of logical sense but that’s not what we are dealing with here – we are dealing with the lizard brain which is about fight or flight.

I’ve said before that Rudy seems to running not for president but for lord of the Daleks. As a personal note – I’ve never came closer to slapping a complete stranger than when I ended up getting into a slanging match with a Rudy supporter who had be browbeating some young woman. I jumped in, pointing out, honestly, the last thing we need now is a Caesar – which is what Rudy is promising.

Hell all the republicans are acting like they are running for dictator - competing to see who can promise to be bloodier than the others. I fully expect by the next debate all them to start jumping up and down and the same time yelling “kill! Kill!” At which point the audience will start jumping up and down yelling “Kill Kill” and then Tim Russett will start jumping up and down and yelling Kill! Kill! Kill! And they will cut away to the studio were Chris Matthews and Tucker-every-time-he-speaks-you-want-to-slap-his-face-Carlson are both jumping up and down yelling “KILL! KILL!” then they cut away to a commercial where a suburban family is getting into their hybrid SUV – which the father then drives to a local community picnic – where they get out of the SUV – put the carefully pack lunch on a picnic table and then start jumping up and down yelling “KILL! KILL!” just like the everybody else – and as the camera pulls back I try to see if I can hold my breath long enough to black out and not have to see anymore of this

Anyway – we have finished mixing down the last three songs we recorded last Sunday – Sex with Me, The Bondage Song and Stacy – of which the first two sound wonderful. Stacy sounds a little flat and dry – mostly because The Enemy Below and I are heartily sick of doing this song – so it wasn’t as sharp as it might have been. But it’s a good take just not as good as the others.

One thing that has happened lately as the band’s sound has expanded – Is that my acoustic has gotten buried in the mix of sounds we make – we’re going to try me on the electric for a few songs next rehearsal (I have to see if remember how to make power cords). You don’t play an electric like you do an acoustic – it’s a lot less forgiving of sloppy stroking (sloppy stroking sounds vaguely obscene if you think about it or I’m just in one of my moods today) than an acoustic and if there is anything I specialize in it’s sloppy strokes. So we will have to see – granted it’s not Dylan at Newport but it would be a change in our sound – we’ll see what happens.

And I’ll keep you informed.

A recent post about us

“Bob and The Enemy Below are the most twisted musicians I've ever met. They have songs about eating brains, killer sheep, and a very twisted I'm sad you're gone song. Nevertheless - I love their stuff. It makes me crack up EVERYTIME I hear it! And I promise - you'll either be completely disgusted or rolling on the floor laughing!”

From - http://unisusqueencreates.blogspot.com/

For which we thank you very much.

Meantime – check out the new songs on our myspace page.

Peace Love Electric Guitars

yet more pics from the studio

maybe if we started at the same time and played the same song it would sound better.


S-dog doing what he does best - making us sound musical.


Studio magic from Ms. Shinobu - " Now We'll just boost the part were Bob says 'More Chains!'"


The Enemy Below on the Roof - which is a bit odd when you think about it. Nice view however.


Bob, The Enemy Below, Insect Girl, S-Dog and the Dude on a break (Miss Trafalga (like the square) had to leave early) . I'd forgotten my offical Bob Muir and The Enemy Below leather jacket. Next time I promise.

Pics from the stuido -

Setting up - S-Dog was able to find a slightly longer cord for his headphones a bit later.



The Ultra Hot Insect Girl and the lovely and talented Miss Trafalga (like the square) at ease : Crossword puzzles and knitting - In this band every man/woman jack of us is a total geek


The Dude on the drums - he was in a little room all by himself for most of the day - we would toss him bits of food from time to time.


They couldn't get the headphones to stay on Insect Girl's head with out a little help - yes it looked stupid but nobody was going see - oh wait.


Okay Bob this time can you at least sing in key? We've given up on pitch.

The Doctor, Daleks - and recording news

Well things have been hectic and things have been busy so I haven’t really had time to blog as much as I would like.

Lord what a hopeless geek I am – spent last night watching the first of the New Seasons of Doctor Who. It sped up the plots and just added some more visual flash without really losing the best part of the series - the good writing and a profoundly humanist world view.

There was a long 15 year break in the series so they decided to shake the Doctor Who Universe up a bit – The Time Lords are no more – Gallifray (god it’s appalling that I know that) their home planet is a burnt out cinder – destroyed in the last great time war between the Time Lords and The Doctor’s most famous and least human of foes – The Daleks (who were also wiped out – apparently).

As a side note there is a weird link between Doctor who and Battle star Galactia (at least the old series) Originally, as scripted, the Cylons were supposed to be some sort of , well disgusting, living creature housed in the Cylon body – censors nixed that idea and the cylons became robots.

Daleks are a mutated creature living in the armor that surrounds it – unlike the cybermen (oh god this is sooo geeky I can’t stand it) who are a bit more like the Borg than anything else.

Anyway of the three disks worth of shows I’ve watched my favorite remains Dalek – there is a huge sense of shared history in the scenes between the Dalek and the Doctor and a staggering sense of loss – and thanks to some more modern CGI effects we learned how Daleks climb stairs – and we were presented with the Dalek as fearsome killing machine – not some goofy machine that screams exterminate! Exterminate! In a massively distorted voice that remains pretty damn cool for my money.

There is a long essay on the Daleks and their odd attraction and their utter simplicity and how it relates to the current kill everybody who isn’t us mood in some of the more extreme elements of our body politic exhibit – and Rudy Giuliani who is pretty much running for president on a Dalek platform – the only thing he doesn’t do is yell “Exterminate!” a lot but give him time.

Anyway before I utterly geek out – I have to watch the rest of the series and see what they do – and get back to the studio Saturday – cause we need to mix down the last three songs we did – one doesn’t look to be much trouble but the other two (which includes Stacy which for us has been a utter pain every time we’ve recorded it – why I can’t say it’s such a bone simple song – some eccentric stops and starts but hell we’ve been singing the silly song for about two years now we should have it down yes?)

And feedback folks – how do you like the new stuff? Let us know – the band has worked very hard on this and some warm fuzziness would be appreciated.

Pics from the studio tomorrow for sure

Later

Peace, Love, Exterminate!

Songs, Spoons and Falling Cows

The Enemy Below and I have been listening over and over again to Scottish Love song – it may be the best thing we’ve recorded (Stacy while not a problem live has been just a bear to record.) My feeling on the song is either the Scots will love us to death or the Scottish Parliament will censure us by a unanimous voice vote.

I get interesting e-mails from time to time – one had an add attached to it saying that you could sign up for this guys course in bending spoons with your mind.

I think one of the reasons psychic abilities have such a hard time getting any kind of hearing in more traditional science circles is that the damn stuff is just goofy. Of what practical value is the ability to bend spoons with your mind to anybody? Other than maybe making somebody next to you at a diner look bad “Waiter these spoons keep bending” “That’s the fifth spoon sir – you’ll have to leave” But other than that not much use here.

There is a very disturbing book called the The Men Who Stare At Goats by Jon Ronson that details the activities of a rather odd section of the military that attempted to develop psychic abilities for military use. (One officer who was a part of this group actually tried to walk through a wall – he didn’t make it). Most of these projects had fizzled out by the end of the 90’s but 2001 has brought some of them back again – I think the CIA continues to try to use remote viewing (mapping or seeing or being in a place without actually being there – ostensibly by leaving your body and sending an astral projection there) as part of their intelligence gathering abilities.

Which no offense just strikes me as being really weird – of course if they get confused people’s spoons might start to bend or something like that.

While this does strike me as being a useless waste of time – I know it’s not like if they don’t spend the money on this will it go to thinks like a kitten hospital – but still it does seem a pretty weird use of tax dollars. Not agitating like watching tax dollars make the owner of Blackwater or Dick Cheney rich, just very weird.

A quick illustration of how not only can your worst nightmare come true at any moment – things can happen to you that nobody could possibly in their wildest dreams foresee.

From Wenatchee World – (a paper in the state of Washington)

MANSON — A cow fell about 200 feet off a cliff Sunday and landed on the hood of a minivan passing by Rocky Point about one mile east of Manson, officials said.

Charles Everson, Jr. and his wife Linda escaped injury.

"It was just 'bam'— you just saw something come down and hit the hood," Charles Everson said this morning from his hotel room in Manson.

You have think – when this couple pulled out of the parking spot this morning - that getting hit by a falling cow was not the list of things they thought could happen that day.

Shows to go you yes?

Peace Love Look out below!

Studio Results and what not.

Feeing a bit shagged to day.

Part of it is from the time change – it’s alike I’m a bit jet lagged – not quite right feeling. Like many things it’s been getting worse as I’m getting older. The only thing that doesn’t seem to be getting worse is my own self acceptance – warts, fat and balding and all that. Which doesn’t suck. But still…

Anyway we hit the recording studio and got a lot done – I managed to even get my ego out of the way.

Let me explain – it’s not ego as in I’m the star and you are not (I still await the day when I can demand brown M&M’s in the dressing room but more of that later). It’s more like ‘Jesus who the hell do you think you’re kidding? You can’t sing, you can’t write, you can’t play guitar, you’re just a damn fraud and you should apologize and leave.

No I don’t know why that voice is in my head – it’s just there – like whenever I get a little stressed about anything out it comes. Maybe it had a purpose in the past but lord god it doesn’t serve one now. I can’t even imagine what purpose it did serve even when I was younger.

So anyway I just had to that part of me know, well thanks for playing, but we really have to move on now and got back on with it. Especially with Stacy which just is so hard for us to record for some reason – we never got a good take in Feb and it took a while for us to get it on this go round (You think we weren’t going to record that? Like yeah, that would happen.

All in all the recordings (which are up on our myspace page) are pretty good – like fantastic compared to what was there before. Let us know what you think please – we’re dying for some feedback.

(The stuff’s not safe for work by the by – forewarned is I suppose forearmed – not four armed as in some Hindi religious deities they have Never mind

I see that the ruled of Pakistan, who has been feted over by the Washington establishment, has declared Martial law great – now with Iraqis’ fleeing the Turkish border things could be surprising even worse than it was.

Speaking of Pakistan there was a bit on the classical radio station that I listened to this morning from a reporter who in essence was complaining that we had given Pakistan millions of dollars. Not so much the giving – he was, I have to presume speaking for the beltway kool kids and other sheltered lunatics when he complained how the Pakistani troops showed little interest in tracking down A-Qaeda and its leader.

Well bunky, let me tell you, Mercenaries and in essence those Pakistani troops were merchs, really aren’t much for getting shot on the job especially when it doesn’t directly concern them.

Anyway recording was fun - we hope to get back next weekend to finish polishing the other songs we did (3 for a total of 6) and then go back sometime after that to finish the other 6 or so for the CD.

Peace, love, take 3

In the Footsteps of the Beatles (well not really)

No real time to blog however

We are going into the studio Sunday – we plan to record at least 5 maybe more songs – depends on what we can get down. Looks to be a long but fun kind in a weird way – looking to do our two latest outrages first – the Scottish love song and then the oral sex celebratory anthem – that’s not what we call it but I find the huge pomposity of such a title overwhelming amusing.

So wish us luck – we may need it – it’s going to be on the same day as the Boston Marathon and well – that could get hinky

“Every time we stop we hear the sound of stomping feet.”

“It’s the marathon.”

‘Oh”

“So don’t stop okay?”

Studio work kind of sucks – still I’ve never done as it where live recordings – we’ve just done the lay down the rhythm track, lay down the vocal track stuff – and we’ve done it that way on similar projects – this will be first time I’ve tired this.

But hell the Beatles first alum was done like this – they all set up – George said sing – they sang and then they went to the next song – John Lennon was nursing a cold the entire day (tea with honey and lemon – which I am brining to the session) until they did twist and shout – when he just let loose and shredded his vocal chords for the day. But it was the last song – still George Martin asked for another take – which I think is on that 3 2 cd set they issued some time ago but I’m not sure. So in the footsteps of the Beatles it is.

No time for other details – did find an interesting thing on the internet – it’s a site where you can calculate the time in days hours weeks whatever – between events – so in order to depress myself I calculated how long it’s been since I got laid.

No I’m not telling – it’s been long enough to depress me even before I knew the amount of time in seconds.

Later.

Peace Love One, Two, Three, Four!

Kinky Sex Makes the World go round

Sorry obscure Dead Kennedy's refence but you have to think that reading the papers these days. Really, how desperate sick twisted and just plain broken by life do you have to be before this sounds like a good idea? (from AP via Pandagon):

“A man was arrested after a government agent allegedly found him in an office building restroom lying next to an inflatable, anatomically correct doll with his pants down.

Craig S. McCullough, 47, was charged Wednesday with indecent exposure, a misdemeanor.

…McCullough's criminal record includes a 2004 conviction for burglarizing Just For Me bridal boutique. Shortly after the burglary, police officers found McCullough in a nearby alley, carrying a mannequin wearing a bridal dress.”

There’s a Zappa song from the Album “Zoot Allures” (Miss Pinky) that goes

“I got a girl with a little rubber head, rinse her out every night just before I go to bed”

He also did something called ‘little rubber girl’

That said – this is why people have homes and doors that lock – and the law can’t break in without having a warrant issued.

Meantime – yet another GOP politician has proven themselves to be an absolute screaming closet case – this time a State Senator from Washington – who per the reports was having sex with another man (a hooker to be precise) while wearing a red dress and fishnet stockings – not quite the same as the dead preacher found wearing two wet suits (I still can’t get my mind around that) but it’s pretty good just the same.

I am trying to remember the last time a democratic office holder got nailed with something like this and I can’t – yea Bill I know but lord consensual heterosexual oral sex is just so vanilla compared to the kinky stuff the GOP folks get down with.

To note – I do not know if the man found with the inflatable anatomically correct doll was actually a member of the GOP - but it’s the way to bet.

And while we’re just running around here saying nothing of import – I mean, blow up dolls? Come on. I mean come the hell on. who uses these things – I’m sure at some point we’ll end up using one as a prop but that’s to shock/get laughs depending on how we fell that night but dear lord – past a certain age masturbation starts to feel a bit like the confession of failure but you start adding props – really there isn’t a way in the world you could feel good about yourself as a human being after banging blow up Betsy.

Meantime W got in a bit of a twist about water boarding – the current nominee for Attorney General (and here’s a damn odd question – the surgeon general, when I’ve seen them on TV wear stars on their damn shoulders – why not the attorney general – it almost makes more sense – the people under the Attorney General are armed at least. Not so much the surgeon general.)

Anyway the president was being a jagov saying that since there is a war on he needs an attorney general to well do things – like spy on Democrats the cynical part of my brain says – and not to mind his mush mouthed dodge on water boarding because he hasn’t gotten the memo – then when a reporter asked W his personal views on water boarding he said something to the effect that he didn’t discuss techniques.

Well if he doesn’t know who the hell does? It looks like in the Bush White House the buck wanders about as people flee it in terror.

Back to the mines – have a lot to do.

Peace Love, my little rubber girl