Not Everybody Thinks We're Great
Bound to happen the odd bad gig – it was just a quick show up at an open mike/showcase deal at (redacted by suggestion of people who are smarter than me – not wanting to burn bridges – there is a part of me that rather enjoys the sight of a bridge merrily burning away – so much so that I will at times make the lame joke “we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.”)
However upon later review - I can name some names – the 507 bar in Brooklyn – It’s a nice looking little place where we saw the only other comedy rock band in New York as per CD baby – and during that time the woman behind the bar mention a kind of showcase they were doing Sunday – and we decided what the heck – we need the exposure. It wasn’t going to be a formal gig no ads and the like since we have the gig on the 13th just The Enemy Below and me doing some older songs old school – just the two of us.
Anyway things took a turn for the huh as the evening wore on - there were too very fine music acts on first – they played for a bit and then the trouble started.
I’m not sure who this clown was but – If you going to be the MC of something well have an idea of what you want to say – at first he was kind of amusing but then well I think he started to free associate in a kind of Freud/Jungian way – and his resentment at growing up not a rich kid started to show along with I think a trouble romantic history – he made a couple of funny jokes about masturbation and dildoes and the like but then started snarling something like ‘there’s no need for you to cheat on your man get a dildo” it wasn’t a joke there was a lot of anger and pain in there enough to make him pretty off putting.
So then after the two good acts we had some kind of weird folk singer who – due to the microphone level (more on this later) we couldn’t hear a word she was singing – which may or may not have been a good thing but you know performances guys – after that we were supposed to go up and play for our 15 minutes of fame – and well first some one grabbed the weird folk singers guitar (and I’m sorry but I didn’t catch her name so all I have is weird folk singer) and sang well as about a pointless a song as you can come up with – I think it was a love or not in love with you song but for the life of me I couldn’t tell – he seemed to be praising a woman but for all I know if could have been his stock portfolio (not likely being what the market’s been doing lately but ….)
Anyway after that the MC got back up again and for what seemed a small eternity talked about his hard childhood. Now I remember reading years ago that one comedian said that the one crucial thing anyone who wanted to be a comedian had to have and that was an unhappy childhood. This part our MC managed to have covered. However he seemed to have not understood the crucial distinction between venting and making a funny – for example he talked about how all the rich kids got Starter Jackets (there was a fad a while ago that I missed) but he didn’t get his until years later. What you do is say something like: “I am the Lizard King” no sorry wait a second – okay here something like “remember when Starter Jackets were big (wait for applause) back then in my school all the rich kids had them. We couldn’t afford a starter jacket – I had to settle for the benchwarmer t-shirt.”
Okay now it’s not that funny – but at least it’s an attempt to make fucking joke – not the lashing out that was taking place on the stage – and what it was doing to the audience – there were more than a few on-my-god-is-that-the-time looks at watches and cell phones (and it’s so easy to fake a cell phone call these days you know?) before scrambling out of the bar as quickly as the could without running.
So we ended up waiting guitars in hand for this guy to finish what I started to call ‘his therapy session” (The enemy Below didn’t like me saying that – and I can understand – I am not always a very nice person and sometimes I really don’t care what other people are thinking – esp when I’m a little chessed off. Which I admit I was.
Anyway finally the other MC reminded the guy ranting on the stage that there were other people going to play – he mercifully didn’t mispronounce my name – which most folks do when the first see it but forgot the enemy below.
Than we had to get another mike up – which took a bit time – by which point nobody knew who or what was going on. And then we started up – we didn’t plug in but that was okay since when the creepy folk singer sang plugged in we couldn’t hear her vocals.
What I didn’t know was that as far as the venue was concerned that was a feature not a bug as the instant I hit the punch line of Sex with Me – somebody turned my mike down so that the only way I could be heard was to bellow everything – which took away from the subtle interplay or just the simple dynamics of the soft set up louder punch line.
But we just shrugged our shoulders and carried on – I didn’t think people were hearing us because we didn’t have any of those ‘did he just say that’ moments we usually get either that or they didn’t think we were funny.
Which always remains a possibility – what someone thinks is hysterical won’t register at all with someone else. I remember popping the DVD of “A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum” to play for my cousin figuring he’d find it as amusing as I do – it’s a long time favorite of mine – over the top yes but with Zero Mostel Phil Slivers and Jack Gilford in the cast how could you not laugh?
Well my cousin didn’t – not even a smile – finally after ½ hour in when the Husband makes the joke about his Mother in law “102 years old and not a single organ in working condition” which didn’t get a smile I switched it off. It was an object lesson on how personal humor can be.
But that really wasn’t the case here as we ended by doing someone else – the two young women to our right who could hear us loved the song (a lot more women like it than guys we’ve found over the years) and frankly after 2 years we have a decent grasp on what works and what doesn’t on stage okay?
And then we were cut off by the MC of the MC’s saying it was 15 minutes.
Only problem was that it wasn’t 15 minutes – we had done 4 songs – the longest of which is 3 maybe 4 minutes - but we had cut the solo on that since nobody was paying any attention anyway.
Again we’ve been doing this long enough to know 15 minutes – to sum up – Sex with Me is 2 minutes long, No promotion is 3, Rat Dog was 2 and Someone else was maybe 3:30
11 minutes – at the most – but we were cut - normally in things like this you get signaled that you have one song left. But that was simply in keeping with the strange insider chubbiness frat boy BS that was this place at this time.
So we packed our cares and woe without them getting to hear Stacy but considering the acoustics they wouldn’t have heard Stacy anyway so fuck them – went to the bar next door for drink and decided that the day after the ice melts in hell is when we do something like that again there.
Meantime – we have a gig at the Annex on the 13th and we’re going to go back to Kenny’s Castaways when they have their open band night – and this time we’re going to take the whole crew (or as many as can come) and see what happens there. Wouldn’t mind playing a gig at Kenny’s’ nice space and the food is pretty good too.
One last note – I think it was Reagan who got the bright idea of coming out to the mound to throw out the first pitch but can we stop this please? You’re the president of the United States you’re already the most important person there (except when the game starts) is your ego in such a need of feeding that you have to stand on mound as well? Give it a rest – toss the ball in from the box seat like everybody else - FDR, JFK Ike et al. And they didn’t have to worry about looking stupid by not reaching the mound either.
And re opening day – not bad for the mets – some sqwaked about how weak the Marlins were and that it wasn’t a fair test for the Santana but 1) you pitch the games as the come and 2) you want to contend the first thing you have to do is beat the weaker teams – a lot.
Well enough a win to start the season can never hurt
Peace love Play Ball!
However upon later review - I can name some names – the 507 bar in Brooklyn – It’s a nice looking little place where we saw the only other comedy rock band in New York as per CD baby – and during that time the woman behind the bar mention a kind of showcase they were doing Sunday – and we decided what the heck – we need the exposure. It wasn’t going to be a formal gig no ads and the like since we have the gig on the 13th just The Enemy Below and me doing some older songs old school – just the two of us.
Anyway things took a turn for the huh as the evening wore on - there were too very fine music acts on first – they played for a bit and then the trouble started.
I’m not sure who this clown was but – If you going to be the MC of something well have an idea of what you want to say – at first he was kind of amusing but then well I think he started to free associate in a kind of Freud/Jungian way – and his resentment at growing up not a rich kid started to show along with I think a trouble romantic history – he made a couple of funny jokes about masturbation and dildoes and the like but then started snarling something like ‘there’s no need for you to cheat on your man get a dildo” it wasn’t a joke there was a lot of anger and pain in there enough to make him pretty off putting.
So then after the two good acts we had some kind of weird folk singer who – due to the microphone level (more on this later) we couldn’t hear a word she was singing – which may or may not have been a good thing but you know performances guys – after that we were supposed to go up and play for our 15 minutes of fame – and well first some one grabbed the weird folk singers guitar (and I’m sorry but I didn’t catch her name so all I have is weird folk singer) and sang well as about a pointless a song as you can come up with – I think it was a love or not in love with you song but for the life of me I couldn’t tell – he seemed to be praising a woman but for all I know if could have been his stock portfolio (not likely being what the market’s been doing lately but ….)
Anyway after that the MC got back up again and for what seemed a small eternity talked about his hard childhood. Now I remember reading years ago that one comedian said that the one crucial thing anyone who wanted to be a comedian had to have and that was an unhappy childhood. This part our MC managed to have covered. However he seemed to have not understood the crucial distinction between venting and making a funny – for example he talked about how all the rich kids got Starter Jackets (there was a fad a while ago that I missed) but he didn’t get his until years later. What you do is say something like: “I am the Lizard King” no sorry wait a second – okay here something like “remember when Starter Jackets were big (wait for applause) back then in my school all the rich kids had them. We couldn’t afford a starter jacket – I had to settle for the benchwarmer t-shirt.”
Okay now it’s not that funny – but at least it’s an attempt to make fucking joke – not the lashing out that was taking place on the stage – and what it was doing to the audience – there were more than a few on-my-god-is-that-the-time looks at watches and cell phones (and it’s so easy to fake a cell phone call these days you know?) before scrambling out of the bar as quickly as the could without running.
So we ended up waiting guitars in hand for this guy to finish what I started to call ‘his therapy session” (The enemy Below didn’t like me saying that – and I can understand – I am not always a very nice person and sometimes I really don’t care what other people are thinking – esp when I’m a little chessed off. Which I admit I was.
Anyway finally the other MC reminded the guy ranting on the stage that there were other people going to play – he mercifully didn’t mispronounce my name – which most folks do when the first see it but forgot the enemy below.
Than we had to get another mike up – which took a bit time – by which point nobody knew who or what was going on. And then we started up – we didn’t plug in but that was okay since when the creepy folk singer sang plugged in we couldn’t hear her vocals.
What I didn’t know was that as far as the venue was concerned that was a feature not a bug as the instant I hit the punch line of Sex with Me – somebody turned my mike down so that the only way I could be heard was to bellow everything – which took away from the subtle interplay or just the simple dynamics of the soft set up louder punch line.
But we just shrugged our shoulders and carried on – I didn’t think people were hearing us because we didn’t have any of those ‘did he just say that’ moments we usually get either that or they didn’t think we were funny.
Which always remains a possibility – what someone thinks is hysterical won’t register at all with someone else. I remember popping the DVD of “A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum” to play for my cousin figuring he’d find it as amusing as I do – it’s a long time favorite of mine – over the top yes but with Zero Mostel Phil Slivers and Jack Gilford in the cast how could you not laugh?
Well my cousin didn’t – not even a smile – finally after ½ hour in when the Husband makes the joke about his Mother in law “102 years old and not a single organ in working condition” which didn’t get a smile I switched it off. It was an object lesson on how personal humor can be.
But that really wasn’t the case here as we ended by doing someone else – the two young women to our right who could hear us loved the song (a lot more women like it than guys we’ve found over the years) and frankly after 2 years we have a decent grasp on what works and what doesn’t on stage okay?
And then we were cut off by the MC of the MC’s saying it was 15 minutes.
Only problem was that it wasn’t 15 minutes – we had done 4 songs – the longest of which is 3 maybe 4 minutes - but we had cut the solo on that since nobody was paying any attention anyway.
Again we’ve been doing this long enough to know 15 minutes – to sum up – Sex with Me is 2 minutes long, No promotion is 3, Rat Dog was 2 and Someone else was maybe 3:30
11 minutes – at the most – but we were cut - normally in things like this you get signaled that you have one song left. But that was simply in keeping with the strange insider chubbiness frat boy BS that was this place at this time.
So we packed our cares and woe without them getting to hear Stacy but considering the acoustics they wouldn’t have heard Stacy anyway so fuck them – went to the bar next door for drink and decided that the day after the ice melts in hell is when we do something like that again there.
Meantime – we have a gig at the Annex on the 13th and we’re going to go back to Kenny’s Castaways when they have their open band night – and this time we’re going to take the whole crew (or as many as can come) and see what happens there. Wouldn’t mind playing a gig at Kenny’s’ nice space and the food is pretty good too.
One last note – I think it was Reagan who got the bright idea of coming out to the mound to throw out the first pitch but can we stop this please? You’re the president of the United States you’re already the most important person there (except when the game starts) is your ego in such a need of feeding that you have to stand on mound as well? Give it a rest – toss the ball in from the box seat like everybody else - FDR, JFK Ike et al. And they didn’t have to worry about looking stupid by not reaching the mound either.
And re opening day – not bad for the mets – some sqwaked about how weak the Marlins were and that it wasn’t a fair test for the Santana but 1) you pitch the games as the come and 2) you want to contend the first thing you have to do is beat the weaker teams – a lot.
Well enough a win to start the season can never hurt
Peace love Play Ball!
posted by Unknown at 1:31 PM
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