PowerPoint, Golf, Robots
It’s Friday
People are dashing about trying to finish the work they really should have been doing earlier this week – Friday is for filing folks not for meetings at 2:35 pm when nobody’s brain works anymore.
I’ve been wasting all my time on PowerPoint today – I have to be – and I say this will all modesty the worst fucking PowerPoint user on the planet. A Blind goat would do better. I think it’s a couple of things –
One – while work can be intersting/challaning/and or dull and tedious and stressful (sometimes all at the same time) talking about it is just so dull it makes my head bleed – PowerPoint is used to present things like business plans – describe you groups activities and what not – all done in the strange un-human argot of corporate America “prioritize our internals” for example – does this mean anything at all? It’s horrible really – the original intent of language is to communicate and link people together – the purpose of business language is to make you doubt your basic sanity.
Riding on a train today off to Washington – looks like it is going to be a beautiful day tomorrow (sigh) well it’ll disappoint the others if it rains – I try to keep that in mind but still god golf is just so boring – I’m going to be spending most of the time I’m on the course counting it down – okay only 17 holes to go, only 16 holes to go and so on.
Oddly enough I don’t mind watching it – nobody talks very loud nothing much really happens and you can drift off on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Okay back to power point.
The other real problem with pp is that the people who use it the most have to be the most boring people on the face of the planet, you see them standing there in front of the big screen with the words “TODAY - A NEW DIRECTION IN HEATH CARE” out there. Then the person, man woman doesn’t matter says
“Today, a new direction in heath care”
And it goes on like that, the words come up on the screen and then they read them
TIME FOR A CHANGE IN OLD HABITS
“Time for a change in old habits”
At this point you being to wonder if suicide isn’t really a viable alternative to be dealing with this gibberish – we can read damnit – say something more or different or just shut the hell up – or if you want us to listen to you – don’t put the damn words up on the screen.
I have bad fantasies of sneaking in and changing the words to a power point and seeing if they actually just read them as they are presented.
“I ENJOY THE BUTTSEX”
“I enjoy the Buttsex”
“I CAN DO IT ALL NIGHT”
“I can do it all night”
“ROBOTS ATE MY LUGGAGE AND MADE ME DO THE BUTTSEX”
“Robots ate my luggage and made me do the buttsex.”
And so on -
Why that reminds me of the guy talking to his toaster in the mountain dew commerical is beyond me. Other than the robot bit.
I’m old enough to remember when Mountain dew was introduced – it was not intended for or marketed at the then non-existent slacker computer geek segment but it was kind of a hippy get back to nature kind of soft drink – don’t laugh you’ll be seeming more of those as the awareness of Global warming increases – we won’t actually do anything anymore, we’ll just rebrand stuff we already make and market it to people concerned about the environment.
It’s why I have to admire people like Al Gore and Michael Moore so much. They see and can see just how awful things are and how rooted in the problems are, how corrupt and money crazy they are and yet rather than despair and give into just full time snarking, they feel we can fix the problem that confronts them. It’s inspiring really – a hopeful view of a species that is just fucking doomed. Not because it is evil, but because it would rather dive off a cliff than change their behavior.
7/16/07 – More
Didn’t get to blog much Friday or even post – we have been going full tilt with the end of the quarter and meetings and such.
Weekend was good – golf game was, well, okay if just too damn long 5 hours in the sun if you’re not really into doing this – yeah the beer after the game tasted good but beer on a Saturday afternoon rarely tastes awful. I got some time to spend with my dad so that was good and got a bit of a walk.
The one thing that I found amusing was that the carts had a screen with a link to a GPS system that would tell you a) how far you were from the hole – if there were carts in front of you (it was Saturday and of course there were carts) and how far away they were.
It also told you if you were running late – we were, as were the folks ahead of us and the folks behind us – the folks behind us apparently had someplace else to go (exactly where I can’t imagine ) because at one point they rolled up in their cart to complain about the slow play – it is a mark of my dads mellowing with age (I mean the man is 78) that he did not invite these two – who looked like highly self important frat boys (who else takes golf seriously) to perform more than one unnatural act upon themselves.
Heard my pod-cast interview last night finally – didn’t sound like a complete jerk just oh maybe 7/8’s of a jerk. For those with strong stomachs it’s the Waltz Astoria Show #6 – at Gothamradio.org – the interview leads off the show and then we do killer sheep – somehow they managed not to pick up the piano that well this time – it’s a new space so they’ll need to work that out.
This evening a bit o’ the jazz at the Waltz – haven’t been there in a while and it’s nice to listen to – get me out of my place and my own head for a bit – hit a writer’s block – mostly cause I’m forcing things – I want to have a song for the back up singers in the next show but I’m not sure we’ll have time to write it and rehearse it since we’ve only got the one rehearsal of the full band left before the show.
Going to hitting union Square Park this Saturday if all goes well – try and get folks interested in what we are doing – still singing someone else in a public space isn’t quite what I’m used to – might get some pictures out of it.
Washington has gone mad – while the rest of the country is saying get us out of Iraq like now – they are acting like attacking Iran would not be the final cherry on top of delusional stupidity that W and his hand picked butt kissing yes men have indulged in over the years but a good idea. I hope the money is good – you’d really have to pay me a lot be that stupid.
Meantime – meantime – it looks like W is going to veto the bill providing more insurance to kids because it costs too much, while at the same time the Times has a front page article on the new gilded age – i.e. right now. The haves have more and want yours as well – thanks to years of greed is good cheerleading they don’t even have the small sense of shame that the earlier robber barons had.
Peace, Love, Robot buttsex
People are dashing about trying to finish the work they really should have been doing earlier this week – Friday is for filing folks not for meetings at 2:35 pm when nobody’s brain works anymore.
I’ve been wasting all my time on PowerPoint today – I have to be – and I say this will all modesty the worst fucking PowerPoint user on the planet. A Blind goat would do better. I think it’s a couple of things –
One – while work can be intersting/challaning/and or dull and tedious and stressful (sometimes all at the same time) talking about it is just so dull it makes my head bleed – PowerPoint is used to present things like business plans – describe you groups activities and what not – all done in the strange un-human argot of corporate America “prioritize our internals” for example – does this mean anything at all? It’s horrible really – the original intent of language is to communicate and link people together – the purpose of business language is to make you doubt your basic sanity.
Riding on a train today off to Washington – looks like it is going to be a beautiful day tomorrow (sigh) well it’ll disappoint the others if it rains – I try to keep that in mind but still god golf is just so boring – I’m going to be spending most of the time I’m on the course counting it down – okay only 17 holes to go, only 16 holes to go and so on.
Oddly enough I don’t mind watching it – nobody talks very loud nothing much really happens and you can drift off on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Okay back to power point.
The other real problem with pp is that the people who use it the most have to be the most boring people on the face of the planet, you see them standing there in front of the big screen with the words “TODAY - A NEW DIRECTION IN HEATH CARE” out there. Then the person, man woman doesn’t matter says
“Today, a new direction in heath care”
And it goes on like that, the words come up on the screen and then they read them
TIME FOR A CHANGE IN OLD HABITS
“Time for a change in old habits”
At this point you being to wonder if suicide isn’t really a viable alternative to be dealing with this gibberish – we can read damnit – say something more or different or just shut the hell up – or if you want us to listen to you – don’t put the damn words up on the screen.
I have bad fantasies of sneaking in and changing the words to a power point and seeing if they actually just read them as they are presented.
“I ENJOY THE BUTTSEX”
“I enjoy the Buttsex”
“I CAN DO IT ALL NIGHT”
“I can do it all night”
“ROBOTS ATE MY LUGGAGE AND MADE ME DO THE BUTTSEX”
“Robots ate my luggage and made me do the buttsex.”
And so on -
Why that reminds me of the guy talking to his toaster in the mountain dew commerical is beyond me. Other than the robot bit.
I’m old enough to remember when Mountain dew was introduced – it was not intended for or marketed at the then non-existent slacker computer geek segment but it was kind of a hippy get back to nature kind of soft drink – don’t laugh you’ll be seeming more of those as the awareness of Global warming increases – we won’t actually do anything anymore, we’ll just rebrand stuff we already make and market it to people concerned about the environment.
It’s why I have to admire people like Al Gore and Michael Moore so much. They see and can see just how awful things are and how rooted in the problems are, how corrupt and money crazy they are and yet rather than despair and give into just full time snarking, they feel we can fix the problem that confronts them. It’s inspiring really – a hopeful view of a species that is just fucking doomed. Not because it is evil, but because it would rather dive off a cliff than change their behavior.
7/16/07 – More
Didn’t get to blog much Friday or even post – we have been going full tilt with the end of the quarter and meetings and such.
Weekend was good – golf game was, well, okay if just too damn long 5 hours in the sun if you’re not really into doing this – yeah the beer after the game tasted good but beer on a Saturday afternoon rarely tastes awful. I got some time to spend with my dad so that was good and got a bit of a walk.
The one thing that I found amusing was that the carts had a screen with a link to a GPS system that would tell you a) how far you were from the hole – if there were carts in front of you (it was Saturday and of course there were carts) and how far away they were.
It also told you if you were running late – we were, as were the folks ahead of us and the folks behind us – the folks behind us apparently had someplace else to go (exactly where I can’t imagine ) because at one point they rolled up in their cart to complain about the slow play – it is a mark of my dads mellowing with age (I mean the man is 78) that he did not invite these two – who looked like highly self important frat boys (who else takes golf seriously) to perform more than one unnatural act upon themselves.
Heard my pod-cast interview last night finally – didn’t sound like a complete jerk just oh maybe 7/8’s of a jerk. For those with strong stomachs it’s the Waltz Astoria Show #6 – at Gothamradio.org – the interview leads off the show and then we do killer sheep – somehow they managed not to pick up the piano that well this time – it’s a new space so they’ll need to work that out.
This evening a bit o’ the jazz at the Waltz – haven’t been there in a while and it’s nice to listen to – get me out of my place and my own head for a bit – hit a writer’s block – mostly cause I’m forcing things – I want to have a song for the back up singers in the next show but I’m not sure we’ll have time to write it and rehearse it since we’ve only got the one rehearsal of the full band left before the show.
Going to hitting union Square Park this Saturday if all goes well – try and get folks interested in what we are doing – still singing someone else in a public space isn’t quite what I’m used to – might get some pictures out of it.
Washington has gone mad – while the rest of the country is saying get us out of Iraq like now – they are acting like attacking Iran would not be the final cherry on top of delusional stupidity that W and his hand picked butt kissing yes men have indulged in over the years but a good idea. I hope the money is good – you’d really have to pay me a lot be that stupid.
Meantime – meantime – it looks like W is going to veto the bill providing more insurance to kids because it costs too much, while at the same time the Times has a front page article on the new gilded age – i.e. right now. The haves have more and want yours as well – thanks to years of greed is good cheerleading they don’t even have the small sense of shame that the earlier robber barons had.
Peace, Love, Robot buttsex
posted by Unknown at 9:39 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home