Things Blow Up.

Saw Transformers last night. It is a movie where things blow up – a lot of things blow up – cars, buildings, planes, helicopters, generators, roads, damns, light poles, soda machines, pretty much any inanimate object you can think of is blown up during this film.

It is the ultimate Michael Bay film – there is a shot early in the film of the barren and wasted world were the Transformers come from – where everything has been blown up – which has to be a dream of Mr. Bays’ “everything has blow up yes yes I am god – on to blowing up star systems - the universe – one block at a time!”

Or something like that.

The entire film worked something like this

Location characters were introduced, People talked –

Things blow up

Other characters were introduced

Other things blow up

Some characters begin to interact with others, there are jokes

Things blow up

People start to react to the things blowing up and take some kind of action

Things blow up.

Some jokes – a plot point is introduced.

Things blow up

The characters begin to interact with the things blowing the things up

Prolonged sequence where things, lots of things, blow the hell up

Second plot point revealed, revelations regarding characters emerge, more jokes

Things blow up.

Final confrontation is established – all characters are involved in final show down

And sweet Jesus do things blow up, like just everything blows up, there is hardly a stone on top of another stone when the blowing up stops. In the end the evil is vanquished mostly by blowing it up.

Order restored – male and female lead look to be in post coital bliss – Otimus Prime sets viewers up for sequel.

Roll credits.

I suppose you could object by saying that the film is a hyperactive piece of nonsense made for barely functional sub literate morons with ADD – but it does blow things up well.

I don’t buy the male or female leads as teenagers but I’m told that real teenagers can’t work in films where things get blown up – because in this day and age – stars have to do a lot of their own stunts because the camera is right on them when things blow up. If I were these actors I’d get my hearing checked after the film wrapped.

That said I liked the leads – really put them in their second year of college and I’d buy them. And I liked the female lead. And at my age I’m more comfortable watching a movie lusting after a woman in her 20’s than a teenager – I’ll do it but I’m not happy about it.

The bots were of course all cool as hell – props to getting the voice of Optimus Prime right.

I think this film will sell more than a few cameros – GM has their new one featured in the film – and well it’s a nice looking car – and I’m not that hip on cars.

I noticed that the token black Autobot is the one that is killed.

And a weird thought has come to my mind – assuming the bumblee is going to stay with the male lead and well be his car when the world isn’t in danger and he and the female lead (one Megan Fox) go out – I have to think I’d be a little uncomfortable with making a move on my lady friend that could lead any romantic moments inside a car that is alive. Just saying.

Random Neural Firings:

As of now the Iraqi government has meet exactly none of the benchmarks put out by W and his cronies as justification for the surge. That’s zero.

It is becoming apparent that we can’t keep this level of effort up in Iraq for much longer – the system is tossing gears.

Meantime our opposition – who, despite what you have read are not stupid, fanatics yes, bloodthirsty, maybe even cold blooded yes but not stupid, is ramping up their attacks on the supply convoys that are the life line of the American Army - which are currently guarded by Merchs (Blackstone mostly) who honestly aren’t about to risk their life for a truck load of MRE’s or water bottles – it’s brilliantly simple really – attack you enemy at its most vulnerable point and with the Merchs being merchs – you’ll force them to take troops off the front line to guard the convoys.

This large civilian tail of the US army is a weakness – in a war with fronts and such not so much, but in this kind of fight it’s a very vulnerable point. And hell part of the disaster that was the Crimea was due to the British using civilians to run the supply lines.

Looks like Alberto Gonzales has lied again.

W is going to host a ‘town hall’ tonight were he will outline “his” plan for Iraq after the surge – we wait with baited breath for the leaden third conterm style questions he will be getting from his hand picked audience.

A Louisiana congressman who loudly championed traditional family values turns out to no one’s shock to have been a customer of the DC madam. I don’t know why folks are so shocked – screwing hookers and being a sanctimonious hypocrite is very very traditional behavior.

Half way point – I don’t know why the Mets are still in first place, and two they’ve started beating the trade a-rod drums again.

Peace, Love, things blowing up