Surprised by the Fantastic Four and some Fan boy Laments.
Over all I was pleasantly surprised by Fantastic Four 2 – The Rise of the Silver Surfer, the Surfer looked cool as hell, the story wasn’t much but it wasn’t bad either, nice action sequences, love the Fantasticar (yes that’s what Stan Lee – who has a cameo in the film as a guest that gets tossed out of the wedding – called it. Let’s just say Stan, while having a lot of good ideas doesn’t use the English language as well as he might) and there were some interesting bits about celebrity and some jokes here and there that actually worked.
They even raised the rather weird and somewhat uncomfortable topic of what sex with the Thing would be like – which I’d rather not speculate about truth be told – and I want to thank the movie for putting that thought in my head.
I understand there is something out on the net called (I think) Rule 34 – which states – no matter what it is, there’s porn of it, so there probably is Thing Porn – so again thank you putting that thought in my head.
I’m reminded of course cause I have a mind like that of an essay on superman by Larry Niven who wrote that if Superman ever did have sex with a human woman (say Lois lane) he would gut her like a trout. Again thanks to all for that image.
Anyway I had fun and considering I expected the movie to stink like old fish it was a nice surprise.
Still a few things. Some real, some just fan boy laments.
1) Jessica Alba – okay she’s got a hot bod – but oh heaven she is so not Sue Storm – and what’s with the lips? – She looks like someone’s belted her in the mouth just before each take.
“Okay rolling”
“Sound”
“Smack Jessica”
WHACK
“Okay Scene 55-1 take 3 – Action!”
And so on. And she does whine a lot about the wedding and living a normal life and what not, and I kept thinking as she was talking – “so just how much lip gloss does she have to use?” – Which meant her performance wasn’t that enthralling to me. And she looks YEARS younger than Johnny. (I’m told she older but she sure as hell don’t look it)
And the title really doesn’t make a lot of sense – The Rise of the Silver Surfer. He isn’t rising from anywhere – if anything he falls. He sacrifices himself to save the world. I’m really not sure just what they meant by Rise of the Silver Surfer but it’s Hollywood – which often makes less sense than comic books – see The first Punisher film or atrocity that was Captain America.
The biggest disappointment was Galactus – in the Marvel Universe there is no being more powerful or feared than Galactus a being eats worlds in order to survive. – in the movie he was portrayed as a kind of solid smoke octopus or cloud or some such – several times bigger than earth – okay fine you do things in movies that you don’t in comic books. But what was a bad tease of the fan boys was that as Galactus was passing Saturn there was an oh so brief tease where an ever so brief shadow of his Helmet on the planet’s surface.
And that was it – when there was the final confrontation between the surfer and Galactus he was talking to a cloud – sheesh you couldn’t have put in damn money shot of Galactus in the middle of the storm for a second before it all blew up? I mean come on how hard could that have been to do? Some sugar to the fan boys that’s all we ask. It was this kind of thinking that made the American Godzilla such a rotten film “a 50 meter tall lizard okay – on that breathes fire isn’t realistic” or “a huge sentient Interplanetary cloud that can travel at many times the speed of light okay – but a huge humanoid at the center of it no that’s not realistic.”
Sheesh.
And as the battle rages on – Doom (who is a bit better this time, yes he still have the silly mutant powers from the first film but at least he’s not made of metal) gets dumped into what I think is Hong Kong or LA or Seattle – I can’t quite tell where – after falling off the surfer’s board (which he’d gotten his hands on by being a rotten bastard – ah doom it’s good to have someone you can count on) and we last see him heading for the bottom of the bay. Which of course sets up foreshadowing 101.
I mean who’s he gonna find at the bottom of the ocean? If you know Marvel you know who:
Prince Namor of Atlantis, the Sub Mariner – one of the FF’s other old time sparring partners and while a personal favorite of mine, a problematical character unless in supporting role - he’s Aquaman with an attitude, bad tempered, distrustful of humans, prone fits of rage – he’s strong enough to provide the Thing with a sparring partner – and instead of the utterly wimpy “I can talk to the fishies” power Aquaman has – he can fly with little wings on his ankles (I don’t get it either but he’s always had them - since the 30’s he’s had them) so he and the torch could go mano-a mano (recreating the first great superhero fight featuring the original human torch from the 30’s) and he has the hots for Sue. So this could work.
I understand that there is a Sub-Mariner movie in development over at Universal but it’s been in development since 2004 and they haven’t even gotten a cast together – I suspect that project will die and fox or marvel will get the rights by the time FF3 is in production.
I suspect the plot will involve Doom conning Namor into attacking the surface world and melting the ice caps or some such to flood New York as he looks to expand his realm and ends up destroying Doom himself when he realizes he’s been duped. While not too bright, he hates when that happens.
More later – tonight spaghetti and starcrash again – god help me.
Peace Love, Imperious Rex!
They even raised the rather weird and somewhat uncomfortable topic of what sex with the Thing would be like – which I’d rather not speculate about truth be told – and I want to thank the movie for putting that thought in my head.
I understand there is something out on the net called (I think) Rule 34 – which states – no matter what it is, there’s porn of it, so there probably is Thing Porn – so again thank you putting that thought in my head.
I’m reminded of course cause I have a mind like that of an essay on superman by Larry Niven who wrote that if Superman ever did have sex with a human woman (say Lois lane) he would gut her like a trout. Again thanks to all for that image.
Anyway I had fun and considering I expected the movie to stink like old fish it was a nice surprise.
Still a few things. Some real, some just fan boy laments.
1) Jessica Alba – okay she’s got a hot bod – but oh heaven she is so not Sue Storm – and what’s with the lips? – She looks like someone’s belted her in the mouth just before each take.
“Okay rolling”
“Sound”
“Smack Jessica”
WHACK
“Okay Scene 55-1 take 3 – Action!”
And so on. And she does whine a lot about the wedding and living a normal life and what not, and I kept thinking as she was talking – “so just how much lip gloss does she have to use?” – Which meant her performance wasn’t that enthralling to me. And she looks YEARS younger than Johnny. (I’m told she older but she sure as hell don’t look it)
And the title really doesn’t make a lot of sense – The Rise of the Silver Surfer. He isn’t rising from anywhere – if anything he falls. He sacrifices himself to save the world. I’m really not sure just what they meant by Rise of the Silver Surfer but it’s Hollywood – which often makes less sense than comic books – see The first Punisher film or atrocity that was Captain America.
The biggest disappointment was Galactus – in the Marvel Universe there is no being more powerful or feared than Galactus a being eats worlds in order to survive. – in the movie he was portrayed as a kind of solid smoke octopus or cloud or some such – several times bigger than earth – okay fine you do things in movies that you don’t in comic books. But what was a bad tease of the fan boys was that as Galactus was passing Saturn there was an oh so brief tease where an ever so brief shadow of his Helmet on the planet’s surface.
And that was it – when there was the final confrontation between the surfer and Galactus he was talking to a cloud – sheesh you couldn’t have put in damn money shot of Galactus in the middle of the storm for a second before it all blew up? I mean come on how hard could that have been to do? Some sugar to the fan boys that’s all we ask. It was this kind of thinking that made the American Godzilla such a rotten film “a 50 meter tall lizard okay – on that breathes fire isn’t realistic” or “a huge sentient Interplanetary cloud that can travel at many times the speed of light okay – but a huge humanoid at the center of it no that’s not realistic.”
Sheesh.
And as the battle rages on – Doom (who is a bit better this time, yes he still have the silly mutant powers from the first film but at least he’s not made of metal) gets dumped into what I think is Hong Kong or LA or Seattle – I can’t quite tell where – after falling off the surfer’s board (which he’d gotten his hands on by being a rotten bastard – ah doom it’s good to have someone you can count on) and we last see him heading for the bottom of the bay. Which of course sets up foreshadowing 101.
I mean who’s he gonna find at the bottom of the ocean? If you know Marvel you know who:
Prince Namor of Atlantis, the Sub Mariner – one of the FF’s other old time sparring partners and while a personal favorite of mine, a problematical character unless in supporting role - he’s Aquaman with an attitude, bad tempered, distrustful of humans, prone fits of rage – he’s strong enough to provide the Thing with a sparring partner – and instead of the utterly wimpy “I can talk to the fishies” power Aquaman has – he can fly with little wings on his ankles (I don’t get it either but he’s always had them - since the 30’s he’s had them) so he and the torch could go mano-a mano (recreating the first great superhero fight featuring the original human torch from the 30’s) and he has the hots for Sue. So this could work.
I understand that there is a Sub-Mariner movie in development over at Universal but it’s been in development since 2004 and they haven’t even gotten a cast together – I suspect that project will die and fox or marvel will get the rights by the time FF3 is in production.
I suspect the plot will involve Doom conning Namor into attacking the surface world and melting the ice caps or some such to flood New York as he looks to expand his realm and ends up destroying Doom himself when he realizes he’s been duped. While not too bright, he hates when that happens.
More later – tonight spaghetti and starcrash again – god help me.
Peace Love, Imperious Rex!
posted by Unknown at 9:53 AM
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