MALAISE? ISN'T THAT WHAT CARTER HAD?

Had the gig, great thanks to everybody that showed up. We were expecting nobody and we got people. Applause to you all. Pictures later today when I home and put them in. so it was a better gig than we thought it was going to be.

Still not all went well – the sound system sucked and the Enemy Below had to deal with the worst guitar amp in the history of amplified music. No matter what he did, he couldn’t get anything resembling a decent (and we’re saying decent as in not sucking, as opposed to decent as in good) tone and half way through the set just gave up trying. But we are professionals (even when we are only doing this for comp tickets) and we did the show. I then drank too many umbrella drinks for my own good and spent most of Sunday staring at soccer or just noodling about the net.

Today I’ve having what can only call my typical post set depression. I feel a sense of what’s the whole point here? The other day I skimmed a magazine that reviews the indie cds in the NYC area. None and when I say none I mean not one damn one featured stuff anywhere close to what we are doing. None.

When I’m like this I think about these Martha Graham quotes (taken from a letter Agnes DeMille):

“There is a vitality, a life-force, a quickening that is translated through you into action; and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.

And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium, and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is; nor how valuable it is; nor how it compares to other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open... No artist is pleased...

There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching - and makes us more alive than the others.”

Now what this exactly has to do with writing songs about people with insect heads and watching porn I’m not entirely sure. Still it sounds good yes? I supose blessed unrest is better than nothing.

Speaking of more alive than others – can someone please inform the tourists in New York that there are people here that need to get to work? It’s big time tourist season now here and well you see them all over midtown, families of 4 or 5 all walking side by side at glacial pace. They seem so overwhelmed by the size of the city that their brains have shut down. The other day I saw a New Yorker (you can tell it’s the way they move) an older grey haired women practically dive like a running back going for the goal line when the two people were holding her up by walking a pace a heavily drugged snail would consider slow stopped walking shoulder to shoulder for a minute. In that second she ran to daylight shoving both of them aside. They were upset but they should be grateful that NYC does not allow concealed carry because judging by the woman’s expression, they would have been shot.

Snakes on plane has opened – with a good but not great box office, well now have to see what the motherf##ing word of mouth on this motherf##king movie does.

Feel free to post comments – I like the feedback.

edit - can't always get the right words the first time.