Worst Director EVER - and Shopping in Iraq
I tried to watch “It’s alive” last night and I couldn’t do it – for several reasons One – it had been a long hard day at the end of the quarter and I wasn’t in the damn mood to deal with the kind of garbage I was seeing on the screen. Two I have to say this – Larry Buchman is the worst fucking director on the planet. Yes I know he died in 2004 but since the grind house/drive in circuit that allowed him to make these movies has gone the way of the Multi plex – there will never be another like him. And good riddance. Not only are the films bad they are bad in a cynical and rotten way that is, unless you watched them, impossible to believe. At least Wood cared, he wanted to make movies because he wanted to make movies – that they were appalling films was more the result of time pressure, budgets, and that Wood wasn’t that good. Buchman didn’t care – he was grinding films out to show to necking couples in their cars or in the balcony of the $1 Theater in the bad part of town. Wood was an artist – a very bad one but he had the soul of one. Buchman – not so much.
It’s Alive is about some guy in the Ozarks who keeps a dinosaur in cave and feeds people to it as they pass by. He is, as you my suspect, not the sanest of folks. The Dinosaur is a guy in suit that Buchman had used earlier in his remake of curse of the she creature. (I still can’t quite get myself to write the comparison between Buchman’s Zontar and Roger Corman’s It Conquered the World simply because I’d have to watch them both again and in the end call Corman a better director which are hard words to write).
Not a lot happens in this film – even with the feeding the people to the fake dinosaur and I found myself using the DVD control to go to the end of the film – which I think takes place in a cave and several people die along with the monster and the cave – obviously one of those caves that people go into to look around – I don’t know where it is but He used it in Zontar and I think I’ve seen it elsewhere as well – the cave is blown up – suggested by dust and rocks. It’s hard to tell since Buchman could screw up a shot of the sun rise “Oh in the east. Damn…well no time to reshoot, just shine a flashlight over there – it’ll be good enough”
The film also features Tommy Kirk who would soon leave the movies which wasn’t that bad an idea seeing as he is best known for being the utterly banal Martian in Buchman’s Mars Needs Women – a title I love to death but the movie would make the baby Jesus cry. He’s supposed to be the hero – I think – It’s hard to tell and sometime during the film I decided to watch the radio – those lights were a heck of lot more interesting than what was going on on screen.
It’s an unvarnished mess and if I had any sense and hadn’t decided to try and watch all the films listed in the Monster Times Worst movies ever made I wouldn’t give it another thought but I did say I would and I don’t have a lick of sense.
Signs of the apocalypse: Alanis Morsette has covered my Humps (yes the ‘my lovely lovely lady bumps” one ) and she does it like it was one of her quiet songs. Why the earth did not simply fly directly into the sun when she did this is beyond me – and there is a U-Tube of Celine Dion covering AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long in a duet with Anastacia – ( And Shakira covered –Back in Black – what the hell next Brittney doing Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap? Christina Aguilera doing “For Those About to Rock?” what’s going on here?)
John McCain has done the worst thing a politician can do – he has made a complete ass of himself with this shopping in Iraq stunt.
:”Shopping in Iraq, shopping in Iraq – see everybody shops in Iraq
You can get a carpet, you can get a snack
You can get an AK when you’re shopping in Iraq”
‘Make sure there are choppers are flying over head –
Otherwise some body just might shoot you dead
Still there are bargains in the stores out in the back
Just wear your body amour when shopping in Iraq”
Chorus and so on and so on - I keep hearing Dale Bozzio from Missing Persons singing this to the theme of “Walking in LA”
Well tonight off to Bug of Blue – my City of Heroes geek fix
Peace Love Missing Persons
It’s Alive is about some guy in the Ozarks who keeps a dinosaur in cave and feeds people to it as they pass by. He is, as you my suspect, not the sanest of folks. The Dinosaur is a guy in suit that Buchman had used earlier in his remake of curse of the she creature. (I still can’t quite get myself to write the comparison between Buchman’s Zontar and Roger Corman’s It Conquered the World simply because I’d have to watch them both again and in the end call Corman a better director which are hard words to write).
Not a lot happens in this film – even with the feeding the people to the fake dinosaur and I found myself using the DVD control to go to the end of the film – which I think takes place in a cave and several people die along with the monster and the cave – obviously one of those caves that people go into to look around – I don’t know where it is but He used it in Zontar and I think I’ve seen it elsewhere as well – the cave is blown up – suggested by dust and rocks. It’s hard to tell since Buchman could screw up a shot of the sun rise “Oh in the east. Damn…well no time to reshoot, just shine a flashlight over there – it’ll be good enough”
The film also features Tommy Kirk who would soon leave the movies which wasn’t that bad an idea seeing as he is best known for being the utterly banal Martian in Buchman’s Mars Needs Women – a title I love to death but the movie would make the baby Jesus cry. He’s supposed to be the hero – I think – It’s hard to tell and sometime during the film I decided to watch the radio – those lights were a heck of lot more interesting than what was going on on screen.
It’s an unvarnished mess and if I had any sense and hadn’t decided to try and watch all the films listed in the Monster Times Worst movies ever made I wouldn’t give it another thought but I did say I would and I don’t have a lick of sense.
Signs of the apocalypse: Alanis Morsette has covered my Humps (yes the ‘my lovely lovely lady bumps” one ) and she does it like it was one of her quiet songs. Why the earth did not simply fly directly into the sun when she did this is beyond me – and there is a U-Tube of Celine Dion covering AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long in a duet with Anastacia – ( And Shakira covered –Back in Black – what the hell next Brittney doing Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap? Christina Aguilera doing “For Those About to Rock?” what’s going on here?)
John McCain has done the worst thing a politician can do – he has made a complete ass of himself with this shopping in Iraq stunt.
:”Shopping in Iraq, shopping in Iraq – see everybody shops in Iraq
You can get a carpet, you can get a snack
You can get an AK when you’re shopping in Iraq”
‘Make sure there are choppers are flying over head –
Otherwise some body just might shoot you dead
Still there are bargains in the stores out in the back
Just wear your body amour when shopping in Iraq”
Chorus and so on and so on - I keep hearing Dale Bozzio from Missing Persons singing this to the theme of “Walking in LA”
Well tonight off to Bug of Blue – my City of Heroes geek fix
Peace Love Missing Persons
Labels: bad movies -
posted by Unknown at 10:12 AM
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