Adventures with teh dumb

Still plan to pan and oh god does it need panning , King Kong Lives, but first a quick adventure from this morning. I was walking to the subway station, and I stopped at the corner and since the light was red waited for it to turn – people drive like they are the driver for a bank heist in the morning, an excess of caution is not unwise.

So as I was waiting, there was a car not moving. I thought to myself, hey lady, the lights green. But after a while she didn’t move and I figured there’s no helping some people and I crossed the street behind the car and headed to the station. Now where she was waiting she had two choices; she could go straight or turn right. She couldn’t turn left (street name North Hoyt) because it’s a one way street, a three lane one way street, with the bank heist getaway drivers on it. So, of course, she turned left. I was dumfounded. This was a level of stupid I had not seen in a while. At first I thought she was looking for a parking space (drivers go crazy when they are tying to park around here) but noooooo she kept on going whenever there was a gap in the traffic.

I had too much at that point. I flagged her down,

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked/yelled.

She looked at me with panic in her eyes

“I have to get to the bridge’ she said. She meant the entrance to the Tribrough Bridge now about two blocks away. I guess here plan was to sneak up close enough and then make a break for the bridge.

‘You’re going to cause an accident’ I said, in less than a friendly voice. “Head on, bodies squished death, flames and delays for hours.’

‘I have to get the bridge.’

“okay then – here go up this road, the one you’re on, one block, then turn right and when you get to 29th Street turn right again. It’ll take you right on in. Look at all those cars, that’s how they do it.”

She didn’t move for a second so I, with hand signals showed her how to go. Had to do that twice. Sweet mercy. I’m willing to be she’s still lost, but at least she won’t be causing a head on collision near where I live.

How do they find me?