I HURT

Watched the 2nd half of Chain Gang Women last night. I was going to keep up with the Gonzo reactions as I had them but the film was sooo bad and sooo awful that most of the notes are things like “AHHHHHH!!!!!” and NOOOOOOOO!!!! And “What idiot directed this?”, “What????? Moron!” “Jesus I need a shower – and more gin” While these accurately reflect my emotions give you no information on why I was writing that.

Anyway when last we left – the male lead of the film was going off to buy clothes for the killer leaving him alone with his girlfriend. The killer is wearing only a towel and thus dressed makes small talk with the girlfriend about how much watching her and the male lead boink turned him on. He then makes move, she resists and he rapes her. It’s a real charming film that way. Killer complains about how GF was not responsive while being raped. I wonder if this had happened to producer.

Male lead comes back with clothes finds Killer and GF on couch – Killer still in towel – note to director – heterosexual guys do not find men in towels as interesting to look at as you seem to. And if your excuse is you wanted to give a little beefcake to the ladies, not a lot of them are going to watch something called chain gang women. Trust me on that. The whole thing just reeks of creepy.

It gets worse – after an abortive and stupid attempt to elude the police (I won’t bore you with the details) we jump cut for no real reason to an old man working in the field trying to move a rock. A young woman (only the second woman in the film) tells him lunch is ready, he snaps at her and she’s goes back. “Foreshadowing 101” reads my notebook.

Back in the car, the Killer says what they need to do is hole up at a farm someplace (gee I wonder what farm they are going to pick) until nightfall. Of course the go to the farm where the girl and the old man live - and through an open window they watch them boink. This is when I felt I needed a shower – the scene was sooo creepy and soo wrong and so nasty on so many levels that my skin crawled. That the old man was one of the co-writers of the script made it worse – “no no I’ll be her husband not her dad, it’ll shock the audience and I’ll be able to touch a naked young woman and have her touch me – not like in real life where I have to pay.”

Killer et al come in and take over place, before that GF flees film – best thing she could have done. Killer then ties old man up, forces wife to drink until she passes out and then rapes her in front of old man. Thanks movie, thanks a lot, I’ve had a lot erotic day dreams but I can assure you none of them were about drugging a young woman and boinking her in front of her old man. By this point I figured I was being punished for wanting a women in prison shower scene. That had to be the reason.

Later there is a plot twist where girl asks male lead to take her away from the old guy cause she hates him, that’s okay we hate him too my dear. Male lead agrees and they boink. (This is after having sex with the old man and being raped by the killer).

After another stupid and pointless attempt to escape they end up back at the farm. The old man has escaped. The look but they don’t find him. Then instead of getting out of there assuming the old man has escaped and has gone running for the cops – killer sits at a couch with his back to an open window. Old man sneaks up from behind and strangles killer (actually it looks like he’s giving him a shoulder massage but at this point who cares) – then he takes killer’s gun. We cut to young wife lying in bed – we hear a gun shot and old man comes in and says – I got them both.

That’s when I threw my note book at the screen. “That’s it? What was the damn point of that? What kind of moron director kills the lead off screen? Jesus” is a rough transcript of what I said.

This film is beyond pointless – stupid cheap and nasty. The male lead did NOTHING throughout the picture. He didn’t even need to be in it except to provide killer with a girlfriend to rape and then he dies off screen. Shit maybe the actor left before filming was done. Wouldn’t blame him if he had. And the ‘twist’ ending just made you want to take another shower. “No have to old man kill the both of them, the audience won’t expect it.” Well we didn’t but films with good twist/shock endings (say Psycho and The Sixth Sense) are set up during the film; they don’t cheat like this one. Ugh.

Have to watch It conquered the world now – it’s bad and stupid but it doesn’t cheat.