Return of the Ghost of the Son of the 31 Days of Cheese - Day 8 - Luana

Because it’s cold outside we stay inside the jungle:

A mysterious and barely clothed young Asian girl who lives in the jungle and is worshiped as a god by the local natives; a young woman determined to find out what happened to her father when he disappeared fifteen years ago while flying over Africa, a burnt out hunter still recovering from his near brush with death when in the territory of the aforementioned tribe and hunted by the memory of being rescued by the barely clothed Asian girl, a famous New York Professor. partner of the vanished father with a grim secret that he will keep concealed at any cost, a chieftain who harbors the same secret and an abiding hate for the burnt out hunter and his savage tribe who will hunt down and kill any strangers entering their land, add to this raw and majestic beauty that is Africa and you get

A very very dull film.

Surprisingly so – really all the elements are there to make if nothing else something of a campy hoot but noooo what we have is much dullness.

Part of this is because Laura the female Tarzan to quote some publicity material for the film – a 1967 Italian project featuring the 19 year old Mai Chen as Luana - has little if anything to do with the plot.

The way most of the film plays is this – the expedition – consisting of the Burnt out White Hunter – named George though some unfortunate decision of the script writer – the daughter of the professor and the professor’s college along with White hunter’s assistant and extra’s burdened with boxes – do something like oh walk for a while – L watches – the hunter and the daughter start to make out – L watches – something happens – then we cut to L and her very annoying chimp companion. And so on and so on.

And on and on – actually Laura really doesn’t interact much at all with the rest of the cast – she shows up at the end when the heroes are in trouble and the bad guys – the professor and the native are about to bad things to the heroes which causes the natives to lose it somewhat as they worship her as a goddess – why we are never told  at least with Sheena she can control animals  - as far as I can tell Lana’s main ability is have keep her hair covering her breasts all the time.

In the end it turns out that L is the half sister of the woman – her father remained ‘an Asian princess’ explain why L is Asian – and the professor had his partner killed so he and the chief could sell the drugs that come out of this region of Africa drugs made from the man eating plant (a very fake man eating plant mind you) that lives in the region. The Professor is shot and the chief is eaten by the plant to end story that without out all the shots of Luana walking about would have taken a  ½ an hour to tell.

It’s dull at best and then it drags.

Avoid.