Another Shower and Robots

Will post pictures later promise.

News continues to make me want to take more showers. It’s bad enough this creep was trying to pick up young boys (ahhhh more hot water ahhh.) But the rest of the oh so traditional moral values people around him covered for him for YEARS. Time for some folks to be run outta town on rails.

The Japanese, who are crazy in a much more entertaining way than we are, have unveiled a robot that can do wine tasting. It works by using an infrared spectrometer to analyze the wine. Per the inventors it also works on other foods such as cheese. I’m reading this and thinking what the hell? Who decided that this was a good idea and something to spend two years working on? I mean with all the problems of the world building a mechanical wine snob should be pretty far down the list.

I imagined this scene in the lab:

“Siako I’m having some problems”
“What do you mean?”
“Well watch what happens when I ask the robot to analyze this wine.”
Robot whirrs, then there is short silence, then the robot snorts
“I wouldn’t serve this slop to my worst enemy. It’s urine.”
“It’s a perfectly decent California Chardonnay you bucket of bolts. Try again”
“You force me to analyze that bilge water again and I’ll kill myself.”
“Here let me help you”
Sound of glass breaking.

As a joke photographer put his hand up against the analyzer. The robot analyzed the hand as bacon. A reporters hand was analyzed as prosciutto ham.

I can see that this could be a problem in the future.

“Good evening, today government officials are still trying to put together the precise casue of accident the Xky robot factory. The few survivors report that robots in their thousands poured out of the factory tearing chunks of flesh off of their victims all the time going “Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! We love Bacon!”

That’s how I think the human race will end, not because we’ve done something evil like breed a plague or greedy and short sighted like ignoring the signs of global warming, we will be done in because we will do something absolutely insanely stupid like build robots with a taste for bacon.