Return of the Ghost of the Son of the 31 Days of Cheese day 13 - The Revenge of Dr. X

What is it with Mad Scientists and plants ? Sorry I’m getting ahead of myself.

Among other problems with this film is that the title makes no damn sense – Nobody is called Dr. X and nobody has any revenge on anybody else. 

And oh yes it’s said that Ed Wood wrote this. There is some controversy over this – apparently this was on Ed Woods resume (and god wouldn’t you want to see that – I mean what did he leave off?) but there is another person who has claimed credit for the writing this.

I have to say if you’re getting in fight over the credits for a film and the other fellow is Ed Wood Jr. just leave well enough alone. It’s not like this is Citizen Kane we’re dealing with here.

Anyway after a very confusing sequence of title cards –which actually are the credits to Brides of Blood – which is weird but that’s per the ever infallible  imdb – we find our lead – Dr. Bragen head of some sort of project at Cape Kennedy  - his assistant Paul Kakamura – played by James Yagi –best known to cheese fans as one of the broadcasters in the American Version of King Kong vs. Godzilla – tells Bragen some bad news about the weather and he simply explodes in rage – which he does over and over and over again in this film. It’s rather off-putting and we’re never given a damn reason for it. None. Nada. Zip.

Anyway  it appears that Bragen is the head so important rocket project but is pretty much on the brink of a breakdown – after the launch of the rocket -  Paul suggests that Bragen take a trip to Japan, or someplace far far away – (I added that he didn’t say that. He should have thought) . And then in a bit that comes from left field  worthy of Ed Wood we find out that Bragen was originally a botanist (who is in charge of a rocket project why?) and had planned to go to Japan but the war got in the way.

So it’s decided off Bragen goes driving to some air port in North Carolina – with a stop at a gas station where he meets a very dirty looking grease monkey with a snake collection and a Venus flytrap – Bragen goes out into the swamp and digs one of them up for his trip to Japan. (why?)

In Japan he meets Paul’s Niece Noriko  - unfortunately the actor has a fairly thick accent and speaks in a monotone – she will be assisting Bragen  while he’s in Japan.

They end up at an abandoned hotel – where there is a greenhouse and a creepy dwarf caretaker. And a volcano. The only thing missing is the big sign saying “Frankenstein Estates”  or something like that.

Bragen is pleased as hell – he soon has set up the flytrap and then yells about the dogs living in the resort  – then after a lot of filler we are off to the ocean to get some other plantish thing.  Here he is helped by some Japanese Pear divers The Ama who traditionally dive topless – which one assumes why they were included in the film.   However since this is how the Ama traditionally, dive the attempt to be salacious fails miserably as the young women are just very natural topless so it the effect is just oh they aren’t wearing shirts.  Not arousing at all.    

The doctor now will do his mad stuff – he merges the sea plant with the Venus flytrap and the resulting creation is well simply the most absurd thing you’ve seen in years.  

Later he yells at the plant not less “your mother was the earth ,  your mother was the Lighting”

Oh yes, he also gets blood from someone’s heart – we assume killing said someone  - and pumps it into the plant – which then eats a puppy (implied but still lord what the hell?”)

The plant thing then goes on a rampage, killing villagers. The villagers reply in kind and our hero Dr. Bragen attempts to lure it to safety with the immortal words ‘take the goat”  but the plant not really into goat for dinner ends up killing itself and the Doctor to prove?

Well never make a film that has anything to do with Ed Wood, other than that I can’t think of a thing.

Enjoy with Goat Cheese.