Son of the Revenge of the 31 Days of Cheese Day 10: the Beast with a million Eyes

Okay let me get this joke over with. The Beast with a million eyes sure as hell didn’t cost a million bucks.

This is one of those films that owes its existence to the ravenous need of movie theaters and drive ins in the 1950’s for something to put on the screen as part of a double feature – at 78 minutes in clocks in quite nicely at the first picture of a double bill. And it has enough dead spots for folks to get pop corn. No I don’t think that was really the plan but that’s the way this film works out.

We start off with the beast telling us his/its master plan to take over the world. He/it will take over the minds of the lower creatures, then the weaker minded humans and then the rest of humanity. We go okay and the film rolls opening credits.

We arrive at a dismal looking Date ranch in the off season (didn’t know date ranches a) existed or b) had off seasons) anyway Allen the owner of said date ranch talks in a voice over about how the ranch is failing and his wife can’t stand the sight of him. Actually we have trouble with the sight of him for a while. Carol his wife is bitter and angry at the world – even to point of her daughter who is going to go to college soon. I guess. It’s her daughter’s birthday but carol keeps wrecking the cakes and crying about it. Carol needs to read the Feminine Mystique or something.

The daughter Sandra is pleasant enough. It seems her best friend is a German shepherd. Rounding out the cast here at the date farm is a nameless mute guy who seems a bit of creepy simpleton who lives in a shack and cuts pictures of girls out of magazines and puts them on his wall.

Anyway the alien arrives (braking all of Carols fancy glassware in the process causing her to a) cry and b) wreck another cake. Later the birds attack Allen – the mute guy stalks Sandra and the dog goes after Carol. Who kills it with an axe (off screen) which seems to bring the family together. Oh well let’s go get some more popcorn.

Another fellow is killed by a cow. It’s not that important I suspect that the folks making the film seeing the rushes of Allen musing about life amidst the date palms wasn’t the most gripping of cinema added it. I suspect they wanted to up the body count.

And of course the creepy mute guy is possessed by the alien – whose space ship looks like a tea kettle from the Ed Wood collection (this was a very cheap film) who then attacks Larry. Who is Larry you say? Well Larry’s The daughter’s boyfriend but he really isn’t’ that important – I think he’s with the sheriff’s office but to be honest I’m not sure how.

At any rate the mute guy whose name we finally learn is Karl tries to take Sandra to the alien (Like they always do unless the film is something like Devil Girl from Mars where the aliens are looking for guys) but Allen – calling Karl by name is able to break for a moment the alien’s hold and rescue Sandra (Karl drops dead in the process)

There is something like final confrontation between the beast and the family at the space ship tea pot – before that we learn that Karl served in the army with Allen and that he was wounded and made into the mute simpleton as a result of a decision Allen (like Karl why don’t you take a look and see if the sniper is still there – bang! – damn I guess he is) . why the HELL didn’t Allen tell his wife this is well it’s the fifties guys never talked to anybody at all.

That plot point disposed off they have the final conformation with the alien who looks pretty ugly and then dies but as this alien really is a disembodied brain he actually transfers his brain into a rat who is then killed by an eagle – a bird they don’t seen much around these parts so I guess god sent it – at least that is implication. Of course the alien may have just zapped it’s brain into the eagle at the last moment and even now is – well I guess it found being an eagle is pretty groovy and it didn’t need to take over the earth – or something.

Slow plodding and sometimes even worse. This is talky film without much to recommend it.

Enjoy with figs and strong coffee – you’ll need it to stay awake.