The Revenge of the 31 Days of Cheese - Day 10 - The Devil's Sword

Ah Indonesia – land of flying rocks, Crocodile men, lust driven magic queens with Harems of hypnotized men, and the lamest looking Cyclops in movie history. Well at least that is the impression of Indonesia from that country’s 1984 The Devil’s Sword.

The plot such as it is, concerns said Lust filled Crocodile queen who demands that a certain village send them a sacrifice in the form of a hunky guy (of whom we see so much more than we want ) on some sort of periodic basis – yearly semi-annually, that bit is not clear. Just as a side note you have to wonder just how this sort of thing is set up. I’d guess in this case the crocodile queen met with the head of the village but it’s not really clear if there is a formal i.e. written agreement. And just how would that go? Well never mind.

Anyway the Queen has been taking young men from the village for a while – using them as sex toys and then tossing them into some kind of cage when she gets tired of them and the village is sick of it. Again - I’m not sure the folks at the Jersey Shore would think that was such a bad deal but onward – so rather than send her another guy they have a marriage ceremony because if the guy is married he’s off limits. (was this something in the written agreement? For an evil lust maddened nymphomaniac queen (she’s called that in the film) she sure has a lot of rules.

However she doesn’t like being cheated so she awakens a warrior servant who flies into the village on a rock (and in a nice touch once he leaps off the rock continues on crushing a villager – this is a very over the top film) the headman of the village announces that the queen can’t have this guy and that she keeps taking all the men from the village. Evil warrior repeats threat and then a fight breaks out. And evil warrior starts to well slaughter the villagers .

This puzzled me – your concern is that the number of men in the village is declining so you pick a fight with the queen’s warrior who kills about 30 guys in less than 5 minutes. It doesn’t really make sense.

Anyway at this point the Good Warrior (the male lead) arrives and he and oddly enough the grooms intended battle the evil warrior to sort of a standstill but in the end the evil warrior makes off with the groom (who was utterly useless in the fight I have to add) who then delivers him to the evil queen who then makes with the sexy time(in her absurdly Super Infra Man looking set inside cave complete with fire breathing crocodile statute.

It turns out after a bit of a side bar were the good warrior goes to talk to his master and then chop off his legs (he has to – just roll with it) and discovers that the only way to beat the evil warrior and the queen and some other evil warriors is to find The devil’s Sword. The master gives the good warrior a map and he and angry pissed off bride to be go off to seek it.

Also seeking it are 4 evil warriors who end fighting among themselves until only one is standing – the Evil warrior from earlier.

Meantime in a cave the good warrior defeats the amazingly fake looking Cyclops – one blog said it’s eye looked it was a painted car headlight and I don’t it was that far off and then obtains the devils sword

The rest of the film consists of the good warrior and the pissed off bride to be (who looks incredibly angry the entire movie) fighting the Evil Warrior (they win) the Crocodile men (the win) then the evil Crocodile queen – however to in this case to pad the film out a bit the evil crocodile queen uses her hypnotic powers to control the good warrior and they end up making with the sexy time for a bit – but the good warriors legless master helps him and the fight starts again.

One thing I noted about the fights was that even after obtaining the Devils Sword the good warrior seem rather reluctant to use it – it’s a convention in martial arts films where the fighters don’t use their weapons until late into the fight – sorry if I have the Indonesian version of Excalibur in my possession and I’m dealing with folks that want to do me harm – that’s out of the scabbard right away.

In the end the queen is defeated her cave collapses and the good warrior and the angry bride to be rescue the groom – who again was utterly useless you have to wonder just what the bride sees in him and good has vanquished evil. And at the end the good warrior takes his leave of the couple – the Bride still looks angry and the groom looks very uncomfortable indeed I expect the next thing he’s about to say is “honey I was hypnotized by a nymphomaniac Crocodile queen what was I supposed to do?”

Enjoy with take out – maybe a curry. And Coconut milk.