I'm Not Okay - Okay?

Writer’s block or something is making me crazy – I look at a piece of paper and I feel like my head turns to stone (ELO song long ago memory best not dealt with here – old flame who broke my heart twice no less). I know this feeling, I’m forcing stuff – I have a few titles and a few notes but nothing is coming – like you care but this is a blog so I will be as self indulgent as I choose to (which isn’t much but still its something).

You get the point that you just stare a piece of paper and you head goes blank – you get the feeling if you stare long enough you will forget how to breathe or something – there is in zen and the Japanese fencing or any sort of martial art the idea that you are perfectly aware of everything about you but you are not focused on anything, no ego, but here all I see I a blank page and all I feel is my own superego beating me up “you’re stale you’ve gone down this path before and you’ve done this before” A voice in my head that I have to tell to shut the hell up before I can get anything done.

I do have a lot on my mind these days, I’m broke, no savings, my job maybe in jeopardy and I just bounced a check to the landlord – (I have the money it just didn’t get credited in time). And things are just a god-awful mess and will be for another month or more. It’s kind of hard to be funny except in the most black manner under these circumstances.





Movie talk:

I note with little surprise that Nacho Libre has not made a great impression on the critics – The instant I saw the ad – The poster had Jack Back in tights – bad enough but on the side of Madison Square Garden - damn thing was15 times the size of god. The effect was so ugly and stupid that I groaned aloud when I saw it. “This is going to be a bad dumb film” I thought.

Now professional wrestling is pretty silly and masked wrestlers are pretty silly but you if you try and ridicule it you’re not going to have a funny film. The El Santo films can be hysterical but that’s because of the microscopic budgets the films had the cheesy costumes and the surreal element of El Santo and the Blue Demon walking around with wrestling masks and sport coats and nobody thinking it was anything out of the ordinary. But if you’re doing a Luca Libre film you should at least have some affection for it. Nacho seems nasty with a trace of racism on the side - a Mexican accent seems funny to a lot of people it marks you as slow witted dumb ass or a bandit – I wonder if Mexicans find American Accented Spanish funny.