The Revenge of the 31 Days of Cheese - Day 22 - At The Earth's Core

Ah – this film is the stuff of a lazy Saturday afternoon – your chores done, dinner isn’t for a while so , time to relax with an old fashioned 1976 slice of English cheese – At the Earth’s Core.

It’s a guilty pleasure of mine – based on the Pellucidar series of novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs – well he had to do something when he wasn’t writing about Tarzan or John Carter of Mars (who will be on the big screen sometime soon and probably be written about in next year’s – the Son of the Revenge of the 31 days of cheese – but I digress) about a world deep below the earth’s surface and features Doug McClure as David and Peter Cushing as Doctor Perry.

It’s the late Victorian era (year not specified) As the film opens we learn that Perry has designed a digging machine called the iron mole – and he, along with David (who financed the building of said mole) take the machine on test spin – it rapidly gets out of control and David and Dr. Perry end up in Pellucidar – the land inside the hollow earth. Actually it’s star treck looking sets but let that be.

After escaping from about the most ludicrous monster in filmdom – a two legged combination of a fake t-rex and an angry parrot – they are captured by rather dwarfish servants of the Mayhas – not sure that’s the right spelling but never mind. Seems the Mayhas run the place. The Mayhas are very fake looking Pterodactyls of some sort with glowing eyes to indicate they are using their mind powers. And when they fly you can see the wires – it’s a hoot.

Seriously all the monsters I this film look like they were designed after somebody spiked their morning coffee with LSD – There is a fight between what look like two legged warthogs and of course a toad that breathes fire because the plot needed it then.

And a man eating plant – of course you need a man eating plant how can you have film without a man eating plant. If you’re watching a film and it doesn’t have a man eating plant demand your money back- seriously if only Godfather III had had a man eating plant the reviews would have been better “we loved the scene where the man eating plan ate Sofia Coppola.”

I digress again.

In addition to Doug – who is the hero and Peter Cushing who plays the scatter brained professor who goes about shouting David! a lot when not muttering things like “most unfortunate” and “were is my umbrella the weather seems rather changeable these days.” The lovely Caroline Munro plays Dia the underground princess who wins David’s heart by being lovely and wearing not a whole lot (works for me) but due to plot requirements they can’t be happy until the Mayha city and of course the Mayhas as well.

This is done with the aid of a revolt of the natives (a revolt! why didn’t we think of that. Thank you White man!) , Dr. Perry’s bow and arrow and lots and lots of lava.

After the Mayha are vanquished Doug and David decide to return to the surface – why you’d have to pry me off of Caroline Munro with a crowbar to get me to leave – and end up breaking to the surface in the front lawn of the white house.

Full of cheap special effects – the fire breathing toad is a classic – loopy dialogue and a good looking woman in skins this is the perfect stupid film for a Saturday afternoon.

Enjoy with tea and biscuits.