31 Days of Cheese Day 22: The Beast of Yucca Flats

Coleman Francis. Bad Movie maker. Made famous by Mystery Science Theater 3000. First film. Beast of Yucca Flats. Awful. Bleak. Inept. Awful. Bleak. Awful. Inept. (did I say that?)

The 1961 Beast of Yucca Flats is Coleman Francis’s first film and in its 54 minutes it manages to pack in as much tedium as movies two or three times as long.

The story , such as it is, has Tor Johnson (very very large professional wrestler more famous for his work with Ed Wood and other filmmakers of the same ilk.) as a Russian scientist who has defected to the US and ends up being exposed to an atomic bomb. He then becomes the Beast who wanders about the bleak desert countryside killing people. Other people wander about the same bleak countryside. The two troopers looking for him. Two boys wander about they are part of a family on vacation (why they came here is beyond my ability to even ponder. You’d have to lose a bet to vacation here. Or you lived in hell, so this would be a step up). The father looks for them and is shot by one of the troopers while he’s riding in a light plane before he parachutes. Then the Beast chases the boys but doesn’t catch them. Then he is shot by the troopers. A rabbit comes up to the beast as he lays dying and he tries to strangle it but dies. No I don’t get it. It’s long and depressing doesn’t make any sense and pondering this film too long could cause clinical depression.

The film was shot without sound so later in the editing dialogue and narration were added. The dialogue is either spoken by someone off camera or the scene is shot so you can’t see the person’s mouth. It’s horrible inept looking and annoying but cheaper than using sound film I guess.

Coleman Francis provides the narration which wanders about aimlessly like Tor Johnson does:

“Touch a Button, things Happen.”

“Flag on the Moon, How did it get there.”

“Nothing bothers some people, not even flying saucers.”

“Twenty hours without rest and still no enemy. In the blistering desert heat, Jim and Joe plan their next attack. Find the Beast and kill him. Kill, or be killed. Man's inhumanity to man.”

“A man runs, someone shoots at him.”

And so on. It’s hard to actually convey the off kilterness of the narration. Or the sense of waiting for Godot with monsters that the film conveys without seeing it. Which I don’t recommend. Really this one hurts.

Enjoy with comfort food and Prozac.